


Stevidot Week 2018

by sinderella0069



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Arguing, Beach Sex, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Handcuffs, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Romance, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-08 03:43:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14096469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinderella0069/pseuds/sinderella0069
Summary: A week of StevenxPeridot one-shots based on prompts I found on Tumblr. Ratings will range from General to Explicit so I'm marking it as Explicit from the start just to be on the safe side.Day One - Make them fight - After the events of Jungle Moon, Steven has some apologizing to do. (G)Day Two - A day on the beach - Steven and Peridot enjoy some time alone on Mask Island. (E)Day Three - Peridot and Steven set up a party - The gems celebrate Peridot's first year on Earth. (G)Day Four - Comfort - Freeing the humans from Pink Diamond's zoo doesn't go entirely to plan. (T)Day Five - Fusion - Steven and Peridot struggle with fusion. (G)Day Six - Training - Peridot and Steven find a way to make training more rewarding. (E)Day Seven - An AU - Crystal Gem Law get a new computer system installed (T)





	1. GAME OVER (G)

**Author's Note:**

> These will all be Steven x Peridot stories. If Steven x Peridot stories are not your thing, I suggest you turn back now, because I will not be all that happy if every single comment I get is a complaint that it's Steven x Peridot stories. You have been warned.
> 
> Ratings differ for each day. Just letting you know that now, because tomorrow it's gonna skyrocket.
> 
> Prompt for day one - Fight. Just make them fight each other.  
> Prompt for day two - A day on the beach.  
> Prompt for day three - Peridot and Steven set up a party.  
> Prompt for day four - Comfort.  
> Prompt for day five - Fusion.  
> Prompt for day six - Training.  
> Prompt for day seven - An AU.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Jungle Moon, Steven has some apologizing to do.

It was only when they were back on Lars' stolen ship that Stevonnie finally allowed themselves to think about what was going to be waiting for them back home. "We're going to be in so much trouble," they fretted aloud. "We must have been gone for days-"

"Actually, it's been less than 24 hours," Lars corrected, handing over Steven's phone, where they saw that it had indeed only been around 20 hours. The panic rising up within them eased somewhat, but still, 20 hours was a bit more than one, which was what they'd written in the note they left behind.

"Come on," Lars said, kneeling down in front of them. "You'd better get going. Let my folks and Sa- everyone know I'm taking the scenic route."

"Will do." For a brief moment, they considered unfusing first, then decided against it. Perhaps Stevonnie's presence would distract the gems from telling them off too badly. Plus to be entirely honest, neither one of them wanted to face the music alone.

They climbed into Lars' head and quickly crossed over to the tree that signaled Lion's portal, and fell out of his mane onto the forest floor. "Why are we here?" they wondered aloud, spotting the old drop ships through the trees. Perhaps Lion hadn't wanted the gems following them through his mane. Or perhaps it was just a random Lion thing. Either way, it wasn't enough to be back on Earth. They needed to get home. "Can you take us back to the house now?" they asked, turning around and petting Lion behind the ears. "We'll give you a Lion Licker."

"Mrow," Lion grumbled, but stood still obligingly while they climbed on his back. Then, with an enormous roar, he opened a portal and leapt through it, landing right on the deck outside the beach house.

Before they could even dismount, they heard the sound of the warp pad inside activating, and a moment later, Garnet flung the door open and loomed ominously over them. "What happened!? Where have you been!?"

"Hi, Garnet," Stevonnie said meekly, sliding off of Lion's back.

Garnet folded her arms across her chest and frowned. "Don't you 'Hi Garnet' me-"

Before she could say another word, the door opened again and Pearl stepped out. "I heard the war- Stevonnie! You're back!" She lunged forward, pulled the fusion into a bone-crushing hug and burst into noisy tears. Stevonnie wasn't sure which was more uncomfortable; the large, soggy damp patch now forming on their shoulder, or the squirmy feeling in their stomach when they caught sight of Peridot through the open doorway of the house. The little green gem stared back at them for a moment, and then turned abruptly and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"W-we w-were sooooo worried!" Pearl continued to sob relentlessly. "We thought y-you were deeeeaaaad!"

"Pearl, I am in the middle of a serious reprimand here," Garnet grumbled, but to Stevonnie's relief, she sounded a little less angry now.

Finally Pearl's tears subsided and she reluctantly let them go. "I suppose Peridot and I can stop picking through the remains of her crashed ship now."

Garnet nodded. "Could you warp to the desert and find Amethyst and let her know Lion and the children are back?"

Pearl looked longingly at Stevonnie again, clearly not happy about having to leave them again so soon, but then she nodded and walked back inside. A moment later, they heard the sound of the warp pad activating and once again, they were alone with Garnet. "Unfuse," she commanded.

Stevonnie sighed, but did as they were told. Their form glowed and separated, and a moment later, Connie and Steven stood meekly before the elder fusion. "Garnet, we're really sorry-" Connie began.

Garnet held up a hand for silence. "I called your parents and told them we'd asked you to join us on a mission that had run late and that you would be staying here for the night. Don't ever make me lie to them again like that," she said coldly. "Go home. We'll call you when you can return."

Connie flushed with shame, but she didn't argue. Instead, she climbed back onto Lion's back and gave him a pat. "Text me," she hissed to Steven, and then she disappeared.

Garnet waited for a moment and then turned her attention back to Steven. "We didn't tell Greg you were gone. We were hoping we wouldn't need to, not after last time, and I'm furious you put me in that position again." She reached into her hair and pulled out the note he'd written before they'd left. "You said you were taking a care package to Lars and would be gone no longer than an hour. I assume something went wrong. On Homeworld. The planet ruled by tyrannical dictators who want you dead," she said sarcastically.

Steven winced. "Actually, he wasn't on Homewolrd," he said timidly. "He'd stolen a spaceship and was being chased by an Emerald. We helped stop her, but the fighter jet we were using to defend the ship got hit and we crashed on an alien planet. That's why we were gone so long, he couldn't find us. I really am sorry," he implored her. "It's just, I was so happy Connie was talking to me again and we wanted to do something productive and then Lars' parents asked if we could take him a package and nobody was here and we really thought we could do it," he explained in a rush. "We never meant to be gone so long."

"You shouldn't have gone at all!" She dismissed her shades, closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. When she opened her eyes again, the anger was gone and all Steven could see in her eyes was fear and sadness. "We thought- you went back to Homeworld, Steven! You took another human with you! After your friend was killed and stranded! And you snuck off and left us a note!? How could you do that to us? We were so scared!"

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, feeling about two inches tall. "It won't happen again."

"You're right, it won't." She snapped her fingers and her shades reappeared. "You are grounded, young man. You are not to leave this house, let alone this planet, without seeking permission first. If you do..." She trailed off ominously.

"OK," he agreed at once. He had no idea what Garnet would do (and truth be told, Garnet didn't either) and he was pretty sure he didn't want to find out. "I'll just... I'll go inside now."

"Good." Some of the sting had left her voice now. "Stay there."

Once inside, he went directly to the fridge and started looking for something to eat, well aware that all three of Garnet's eyes were watching him with every move. How long was she going to do that for?

As it turned out, not long. Five minutes later, just as he was heating up a can of soup, she adjusted her shades and frowned. "They should be back by now, what's taking so long?" she muttered to herself. Then she abruptly spun around, marched over to the bathroom door and knocked. "Peridot?"

"...Yes?" Peridot's voice sounded cautiously from the other side.

"I need you to come out of there and keep an eye on Steven while I go and look for Pearl and Amethyst. Don't let him leave the house."

Peridot pushed the door open a crack and scowled up at the other gem. "Do I have to?"

"Yes," Garnet said flatly.

Peridot glanced over in Steven's direction and she sighed reluctantly. "Fine. If I must."

"You must." And with that, she walked off towards the warp pad and disappeared without a backwards glance.

A tense silence fell over the house. Peridot came fully out of the bathroom, sat down on the sofa and began tapping away at her tablet screen. Steven took his soup off the heat, poured it into a bowl and began eating, trying to stretch out the meal for as long as possible so he wouldn't have to face her. But of course, he could only eat for so long, and so when he was done, and the dirty dishes had been cleaned and put away, he took a deep breath and walked over to stand beside her. "Hey."

Peridot didn't respond.

"OK. You're mad at me, I totally deserve it." He moved to sit down next to her, but when he saw her shoulders tense, he thought better of it. "Um, we should probably talk."

Peridot continued to tap away at her tablet screen, resolutely ignoring him, and Steven felt his heart sink. "I know I messed up, you have every right to be mad at me, but please, just let me explain!"

This time, instead of just quietly ignoring him, Peridot opened her music app and hit play. Steven stared incredulously at her and shook his head. "OK, now you're just being childish."

It was true, but Peridot didn't care. Instead, she turned the music up. Then she finally glanced up at him, silently daring him to try and snatch it out of her hands like Amethyst had once done. And for a split second, Steven almost considered doing it, if only to try and provoke her into actually reacting, but the moment swiftly passed. "I'm sorry." He straightened up and stepped back. "I'll head up to my room and leave you alone now."

He turned and took a step towards the stairs, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Perhaps if he had a nap, one without any Diamond dreams, he might feel a little better. And maybe then Peridot might be willing to hear what he had to say. If he'd learned anything from his recent quarrel with Connie, it was that pestering her with apologies would do no good if she wasn't ready to hear them.

Anyway, she could hardly ignore him forever, not when she lived in his bathroom.

He didn't even realize he'd said anything until he heard her mutter, "-worked for Connie."

He stopped and half-turned back towards her. "What was that?"

Peridot looked away at once, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Nothing."

Steven stared at her for a moment and then cautiously took a step back towards her. "Peri... are you jealous?"

She thought about ignoring him some more, but it seemed kind of pointless now she's spoken, so she sighed and put the tablet aside. "Of course I'm jealous. We've only been dating for three days and you've spent half of that time fused with somebody else. That's not why I'm angry though," she added before he could comment on that.

"Oh." He took another cautious step towards her and opened his mouth to ask why, then snapped it shut again. Now she was talking to him again, he really didn't want to say the wrong thing and have her clam up again, so instead, he sat down silently next to her and waited.

"Why didn't you ask for my help?" she finally asked, turning to look directly at him for the first time. "Until I came to Earth, I spent my entire life on Homeworld. I know how things work there, I could've helped! When you came back to the house with Connie and found nobody here, did you even stop to look for anyone? Or did you jump at the chance to leave without having to seek permission? It's a rhetorical question, you don't need to answer that," she added flatly. "I was up in the garden. If you'd done even a cursory examination of the area, you would've found me."

Steven flushed and ducked his head. She was right. He'd known the gems would never agree to let him and Connie visit Lars without supervision; in fact, he strongly suspected that if he'd asked, they would've refused to let him go at all. But he'd promised Lars' parents he'd personally make sure their son got their package, and so he'd deliberately chosen to return to the house at a time when he knew the gems weren't likely to be around.

Including Peridot.

"I'm angry and hurt that you didn't think to even ask me for any information that could've been of use to you. Then again," she added a little bitterly, "nobody listened when I tried to instruct you all on the operation of the Ruby ship, I don't know why I thought things would be any different this time." She crossed her arms and sat back moodily. "I know my gem powers are limited, my fighting skills even more so, but I always thought you, at least, respected my intelligence."

"I do respect your intelligence," he protested, shocked into speech. "Peridot, you're the smartest person I know!"

"Then _why_ didn't you ask for my help?" she repeated, turning to face him again. "Steven, I love you and I don't really want to break up with you already. But for our relationship to work, we need to communicate with each other, and we need mutual respect and right now, I don't feel as though I have that from you."

Steven winced. "I'm sorry," he said humbly. "I didn't realize I made you feel that way, I never meant that to happen." He paused for a moment and tried to work out how to explain his motives to her in a way that didn't sound patronizing. "I didn't ask for your help because... because I knew you'd want to come with us, and I was afraid you'd get hurt. I don't mean I don't think you can't take care of yourself," he hastily added. "I know you can, you rigged up that old ship and almost killed us!"

Peridot narrowed her eyes and uncurled slightly. "Go on."

Encouraged, he took a deep breath and carried on. "Last time I was on Homeworld, Lars died protecting the Off-Colors from the robonoids in the Kindergarten. They're programmed to destroy all the gems they find there, but they ignored him, because he doesn't have a gem. That's why I knew Connie would be OK, if they showed up again, they wouldn't see her. And she had my mom's sword and I've already seen her use it to defeat a scary, floaty killy thing. And that was before Pearl started training her. But I was too scared to take you as well." Sudden tears rose in his eyes and he blinked them away. "I couldn't be sure you'd be safe, not after what happened to Lars. What if they shattered you? I don't know if my tears will work on gems. Or what if Yellow Diamond caught you? Last time you saw her, you called her a clod and she tried to blow you up. Like you said, she won't fail a second time. I couldn't risk it, I couldn't risk losing you."

They sat in silence for a moment, and then Peridot reached over and punched him on the arm. "You absolute clod. Did it never cross your mind that I might have the same concern towards you?"

"Ow." It didn't actually hurt, but he rubbed the spot anyway. "I guess that didn't really occur to me until we got stranded." He sighed. "I'm really sorry, Peridot."

"Hmm." She mulled it over and then leaned against him. "I suppose I accept your apology. But if you pull another stunt like this," she added sternly, "I can't promise I'll be so understanding."

"That's fair. I messed up." He sighed and put his arm around her to give her a quick hug. "You know the really stupid thing? If you'd come with us, we probably wouldn't have wound up stuck on that planet all day, 'cause you could've flown that ship better."

Peridot laughed at that and then leaned up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm glad you're back safe. I was worried about you. We all were."

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"You can stop apologizing now," she murmured. "I already forgave you."


	2. SEX ON THE BEACH (E)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Peridot enjoy some time alone on Mask Island.

The chatter of the watermelon Stevens died down out as a dark shadow passed overhead, and they watched warily as the ship landed in the middle of the clearing. It wasn't until the door slid open and Steven stepped out, Peridot close behind him, that they relaxed and rushed forward to greet them.

"Hi everyone, how's it going?" Steven said with a cheerful wave. "The place is looking good, you're making great progress."

Next to him, Peridot flicked through several sheets of blueprints before raising her gaze to critically examine the building works before her. "By my calculations, if they keep up this speed, they'll complete work approximately seven weeks ahead of schedule."

"That's great!" he exclaimed. Then he paused and narrowed his eyes at his watermelon creations. "You're not pushing yourselves too hard, are you? It's nice if it all gets done earlier than we planned, but we're not going to change the date or anything, so you can take a break if you need to. Unless-?" He turned and looked quizzically at Peridot, who shook her head in response.

"The Amethysts at the zoo refuse to move the humans until Ex-Nine gives birth and the child is then weaned. Obviously Garnet has advised us of many possible scenarios that could disrupt the operation and we have planned accordingly, but still, if something does go wrong, it would increase the child's chances of survival if they're able to at least eat solid food," she advised him. "None of the other humans are lactating and we can't exactly bring a wet nurse out here."

He turned back to the watermelons and shrugged. "You heard her. The baby isn't due for another month, then it's gonna be what, another five, six months before they start eating solids? So you've got plenty of time to get this place finished before we start bringing 'em in." He nodded at them. "Go and take a break. You've earned it."

The watermelons turned and chattered among themselves for a few seconds, and then put down their tools and happily walked away, leaving Peridot and Steven alone.

"All right," Peridot said, looking down at her blueprints again. "Now they're gone, let's examine the dwellings."

They spent the next hour or so exploring some of the buildings, both complete and incomplete, and were pleased to see that the watermelon Stevens had not let the quality of their work slide in order to get ahead. As Steven had suspected, the only corners they had cut were in their own personal lives. "This is a nice place," he commented, doing a slow turn in the middle of one of the half-completed houses. "I wouldn't mind living here myself when it's done. Actually," he mused aloud, "maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to stay in one of these places for a week or something. Y'know, make sure everything's comfy and working properly before the zoomans move in. If there's a problem, you know they're not going to be able to deal with it themselves."

"That's true," Peridot admitted. "There's no television or wifi though."

"Hmm." Steven pretended to consider that for a moment, then stepped forward and pulled her close. "I'm sure we can think of some way to entertain ourselves."

"Board games?" Peridot suggested with a smirk.

Steven laughed and leaned down to give her a long, slow kiss. "I rather had something else in mind," he murmured as they separated.

"Let me guess." Peridot's eyes fluttered closed as he began kissing a line down her neck. "Card games."

"Yeah, strip poker." He tugged the strap of her jumpsuit aside and kissed her shoulder. "Let's prac-"

At that moment, the watermelon Stevens returned to the clearing, whistling and chattering in their own strange language as they picked up their tools and began heading back to work. Clearly they'd decided they'd slacked off for long enough. Steven and Peridot quickly jumped apart and hastily readjusted their clothes just as a few of the plant people stepped into the house and stopped at the sight of them. "We were just um, just looking," Steven stammered.

"Yes, just looking," Peridot repeated at once and lunged for the blueprints she'd put down on a stack of planks. "Definitely not- your handiwork is impressive," she quickly corrected herself before she could say anything embarrassing.

"Impressive," Steven parroted and gave a nearby wooden column a slap for emphasis. Unfortunately, in his flustered state, he hit it a little too hard and there was a loud _CRACK_ and the entire structure shook ominously. "Oops. Sorry."

The watermelons rushed forward to repair it before the place could collapse and the couple seized the chance to escape. "Sorry!" Steven called out again over his shoulder. "We'll get out of your way now."

"Shall we head back to ship and return home then?" Peridot asked, watching the watermelons at work.

"Ehh." Steven wrinkled his nose up. "I dunno. Everyone else is there and I was kinda enjoying it being just us."

"Enjoying it a little too much," Peridot commented with a small laugh, reaching out to give his hand a squeeze.

Steven returned the squeeze and then sighed. "OK, let's go home."

He lapsed into thoughtful silence as they began walking back towards the ship. He loved Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, really he did, but sometimes, like right then, all he wanted was to spend some time alone with Peridot. And even though they'd put walls up around his room, the lack of privacy in the beach house was still a problem. There was no way he was going to be able to whisk his girlfriend up to his room now and make love to her without it being obvious to everyone else what was going on, and he knew neither he nor Peridot would really be able to enjoy themselves knowing that the other Crystal Gems were just on the other side of the wall. And Amethyst would mock them mercilessly.

"Wait," he said impulsively, coming to a halt. "Before we go, let's go for a walk on the beach."

Peridot stared blankly back at him. "What would be the appeal of that? We live right _on_ the beach."

"Not a beach like this one," he insisted. "Don't get me wrong, Beach City's great, but this is a _tropical island!_ And other than the watermelons, we're the only people here. No tourists, no litter, no noise..."

Peridot looked up at the spaceship for a moment, considering the suggestion, and then slowly nodded. Their status report was important, but as they'd told the watermelon Stevens, they weren't actually going to be able to put their plan into action for several months. So it certainly wouldn't do any harm to delay their return home for an hour or two. "All right. Just let me put the blueprints away first."

Steven waited patiently, and then took her hand and led her through the clearing where the building works were taking place, towards the small village where the watermelon Stevens lived and the beautiful beach he knew lay a mile or so beyond. It had been five years since he'd been stranded there with Lars and Sadie and since the destruction of the warp pad, his visits had been few and far between. He could still clearly recall the route to the beach though, and twenty minutes later, they climbed across seaweed-slippery rocks until they were able to jump down onto the warm, golden sand.

"Ta da!" Steven said proudly, and held out his arms for emphasis.

"Hmm. Peridot turned a slow circle as her boyfriend kicked off his sandals and curled his toes into the sand. "All right, I admit it. This beach is markedly different to the one back home."

"Told ya." He grinned and stuck out his tongue. Then he strolled down to the edge of the water and let the waves run over his feet. It was much warmer than the ocean by Beach City and he sighed blissfully. "Ahh, that's nice. We should go for a swim while we're here."

Peridot smirked, immediately guessing his intentions. "I didn't bring my swimsuit."

"Neither did I." He grinned, grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head and tossed it across the sand where it landed next to his sandals. "Guess I'll have to manage without." He maintained eye contact with her as he unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them off. His underpants quickly followed, and then he plunged into the water. "Come on in, 'Dot!" he shouted when he resurfaced. "The water's lovely!"

Peridot's eyes flicked around, scanning the surrounding area for any prying eyes, but they were truly alone. Reassured, she allowed her outfit to dissipate until she stood naked on the sand, and then she ran into the water after him and flung herself into his arms. "It's too deep. Hold me," she commanded.

Steven laughed. The water only came up to her waist. Still, he did as he was told, then leaned down and kissed her mouth, and a warm glow spread through him when she eagerly responded. As soon as they parted, he started kissing her neck again, picking up from where they'd been so rudely interrupted. Then he ducked down and started kissing her breasts, sucking one nipple into his mouth and gently pinching the other, and Peridot groaned with pleasure. "W-wait," she half-heartedly protested, making no attempt to actually stop him. "What if someone comes?"

"I'm counting on it!" he teased. "I'm planning on using all my best moves here."

Peridot laughed and then sighed as his mouth went to work on her other nipple. Her pussy was beginning to throb now and she parted her legs a little to allow him access. But instead, he suddenly released her nipple with a wet _pop,_ bent down and swept her up into his arms. "Don't want to drown," he briefly explained when she squeaked with surprise. He carried her back to the shore and then lay her down at the edge of the water before resuming his kisses lower down her body.

Peridot groaned again and her eyes fluttered closed as he teasingly dropped kisses upon her mons and her inner thighs, ignoring her aching pussy until she finally whimpered, "Steven, please..."

"Very well," he relented. "Since you asked so nicely." And with that, he lowered his head again and ran his tongue around the outside of her pussy lips before curling his tongue up between them, relishing the taste of her juices, slightly salty from the seawater. He slid two fingers into her slick cunt and slowly pumped them in and out as he licked and suckled on her clit, and with his other hand, he reached up and began fondling her breasts again. Peridot gasped; small grains of sand had stuck to her damp skin and the slight abrasion only heightened the sensation of his touch.

For the next few minutes, Steven continued to pleasure her in this way, encouraged by the whimpers and squeals that she couldn't help making. Then her movements began to grow jerky and her body stiffened. "Steven- I'm going to-" she gasped.

"Good," he murmured with satisfaction, and let his teeth gently graze her clit. Peridot cried out wordlessly and went rigid as her orgasm flooded through her body, her inner walls pulsing around his fingers which he continued to mercilessly pump in and out of her until she finally collapsed back onto the sand. Only then did he move to straddle her, placing his hands on either side of her waist. "You OK to keep going?"

Peridot raised herself up onto her elbows and gave him a quick kiss. "Absolutely."

She reached down and grabbed his aching, neglected cock, and guided him towards her dripping wet entrance. Steven was able to push his entire length into her in one slow move, and the friction against her already overstimulated clit tipped her over the edge once again. She gasped and grabbed his ass, digging her fingernails into his flesh as he sped up his movements and pounded into her. Once she was able to think a little more clearly, she raised her hips to meet his thrusts until he stiffened and groaned loudly, filling her with his hot cum. Then he sagged against her, breathing heavily.

They lay there on the sand for a few minutes longer, occasional waves from the incoming tide washing over their legs, until Steven reluctantly withdrew from her and rolled over onto his back. "Love you," he murmured, and kissed her on the cheek.

"Love you too." Peridot sat up slightly and began lazily drawing circles on his chest with her fingers. "And Steven? You've convinced me."

"Hmm?" He raised his head and looked quizzically at her. "Convinced you about what?"

"We should definitely stay here for a week."


	3. THE EARTHDAY GIRL (G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gems celebrate Peridot's first year on Earth

"Guess what!?" Steven flung himself onto the sofa next to Peridot and grinned widely at her. "It's my birthday next week!"

"See, you shouldn't have told me," Peridot scolded, putting her tablet aside. "I wouldn't have guessed that."

Steven laughed. "Come on, you know about birthdays."

"Yes, but not a great deal," Peridot admitted. "I'm aware that humans hold an annual celebration on the date of their emergence, but I had forgotten exactly how you track time and failed to make the connection. So this is a celebration of your fifteenth year of survival?" she continued before he could explain the calendar to her.

"That's a pretty morbid way of phrasing it, but yeah." He thought back over the events of the last year and shivered slightly. Come to think of it, he really was rather lucky to have survived. "I'm hoping it'll be better than the last one," he mused aloud. "I spent so much time concentrating on shapeshifting, I couldn't really enjoy it. And then I turned into a baby. And," he added, staring pointedly at her, "you didn't join in."

"In my defense, the Cluster was still a credible threat," Peridot pointed out. "In fact, if I recall correctly, which I do, it almost took form when we were drilling down to stop it." She smirked at him. "I could argue that you would not have survived to your fifteenth birthday if it had not been for my refusal to stop working on your fourteenth."

"Well... yeah, I suppose you have a point," he said with a laugh. "But there's no looming threat this year – well, the Diamonds want us all dead," he amended. "But they don't seem to be making much effort to come here and do it themselves, I guess they think the Cluster will do it for them. So this year, you can come to my party!"

"I'd like that," she said, a little shyly. "So... what exactly do I need to do? I've never attended a birthday party, I've only seen them on Camp Pining Hearts," she explained. "And I understand that the events on screen are not entirely accurate."

"Well, I guess some people in real life might actually have poker parties or a murder mystery one, but they probably don't often end with as many dead people," he conceded. "Even at Kevin's party, nobody got drunk and threw up in the pool or anything. I think I'm probably gonna keep it chill, y'know, have a cookout on the beach or something."

"That sounds fun." Peridot tried to picture it in her mind, using the hazy information she'd learned from television. "I assume there will be music and activities and an exchange of gifts as well?"

"Yep." Steven grinned. "I figure we can play some beach games until it starts getting dark, then light a bonfire, cook some 'dogs, light some fireworks, dance..."

"Will there be volleyball?" Peridot asked.

"Yep."

"Sandcastle competitions?"

"Sure. Winner gets first swing at the piñata."

"Limbo?"

"Maybe." Steven thought about that one for a moment. "Amethyst _will_ use shapeshifting to cheat if we do."

"Keg stands and beer pong?"

"Ah, no." He laughed. "Maybe in a couple of years. I like the other ideas though." He gave her a sidelong glance as a thought occurred to him. "Hey, Peridot? Would _you_ like a birthday party?"

"Me?" She looked surprised by the question.

He nodded. "I tried throwing one for the other gems once, but they weren't really into it. I think it's 'cause they've been here for thousands of years though. They're probably all way partied out by now. But you've never even been to a party before, have you?"

"No," she admitted. "Homeworld don't hold many celebrations, it would get in the way of work. Celebrating the annual survival of an individual? Ha!" She laughed derisively. "I'd never even heard of such a thing before I arrived on Earth!"

"The Diamonds don't have birthday parties?" he teased.

Peridot laughed. again "No, I don't believe they would see the point." A small smile remained on her face as she thought it over. "I think I do though."

"Yeah?" Steven sat up straighter in delight. "You really want a birthday party?"

Peridot nodded. "Of course, I would first have to work out the Earth date of my emergence-"

"Or we could just pick a date," he suggested, suddenly inspired. "Like the day you stood up to Yellow Diamond and called her a clod!" He clapped his hands together in glee. "Instead of celebrating your birthday, it would be your _Earth_ day!"

Peridot's eyes lit up with delight. Choosing that date as her birthday seemed especially appropriate seeing as it also was the day Yellow Diamond had tried to blow her up. What better day to celebrate her continued survival? "I love it!"

"It's only a couple of days after my birthday, so not long," Steven warned. "So what do you wanna do?"

Peridot's face fell. She'd already used up the total sum of her birthday knowledge on suggestions for Steven's birthday party. "I have no idea."

xxx

In the end, it was Connie who came up with the perfect suggestion. "A couple of years ago, my class had an overnight trip to an adventure center. My parents wouldn't actually let me stay overnight," she amended, "but it was still fun. We did archery, kayaking, geocaching, stuff like that. Peridot might like that, it's like the stuff they do on Camp Pining Hearts, isn't it?"

Steven gasped loudly and a fry fell out of his mouth and was immediately snapped up by a passing seagull. "Yes! That's perfect! What was the name of the place? I'll ask Dad if he can book us a place!"

"I don't remember," she admitted. "What? I was ten," she protested when he stared at her in dismay. "But my mom probably knows, I can text you it when I get home. Or you could just Google it. Even if you don't find the right one, there's probably a bunch of places that do that stuff."

"Oh yeah." He relaxed and started tapping at his phone and quickly found a resort that promised all that Connie had suggested and more. "OK. I'll ask Dad when we go shopping for party stuff."

"Cool." Connie glanced at her own phone screen and pulled a face. "I'd better get going, Dad'll be here any minute and if I'm not ready and waiting, I'll be grounded again."

Steven pulled a face as well and they began walking faster. "They're still letting you come to my party though, right?"

"Yeah, but I think Mom's planning on staying and lurking in the background to make sure I don't accidentally go to space again." Connie rolled her eyes, but she had to admit that her mother had a point. It was one thing to go on a supervised mission to fight a corrupted gem, quite another to sneak off to space without telling anyone and winding up stranded on an alien planet. And she still hadn't quite worked up the nerve to mention the near miss with the zoo.

They crossed the road and entered the Big Donut's parking lot twenty seconds before Connie's dad, and once they'd said their goodbyes, Steven began the short walk to his father's car wash.

"Hey kiddo," Greg greeted and tossed aside the magazine he'd been reading. "Ready to party?"

"You betcha!"

Greg had already closed the car wash for the day, so the pair climbed into the car and were soon on their way to Ocean Town to pick up party supplies. "Have you got a list?" Greg asked as they headed towards the stores.

"Yep." Steven reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "Balloons, cake, candy, piñata to put the candy in, chips and soda, some stuff to barbecue and pineapples. Also to barbecue."

"Sure, no problem. Whatever you want." Greg smiled widely as he spoke. He'd always tried to make Steven's birthdays fun, admittedly mostly to distract himself from thinking about how it was also the day Rose had gone, but he'd never been able to afford to go all out. But this year, he could give his son the birthday party of his dreams.

"Cool." Steven glanced at the last item on his list. "And... I wanted to get Peridot an Earthday present too while we're here, is that OK?"

"Of course! What did you have in mind?"

"I dunno," Steven admitted. "I thought maybe some art supplies because Lapis took all of theirs into space. Or maybe a nice dress or something, she likes clothes, but Lapis took all those too. And I know she'd like to replace her Camp Pining Hearts DVDs-"

"Let me guess, they're in space with Lapis as well?" Greg said dryly.

Steven nodded and then sighed. "But I kinda wanna get her something _new_ , you know? Not something to replace her old stuff. So I thought maybe a musical instrument because she likes music and she picked it up pretty fast. Or maybe a laptop, her tablet's pretty cool, but a laptop has more power and you can play more games on it and stuff. Maybe even one of those touchscreen ones you can draw on, then she could do art on it too..."

Greg couldn't help smiling at Steven's torrent of suggestions. "Do you want to look around some of the other stores first then and see if you can find something? Then we'll get the party stuff. Speaking of which, what's Peridot doing for her birthday-"

"Earthday," Steven corrected.

"Earthday," Greg repeated with a laugh. "Does she want a cookout too? I just figured, while we're here..."

"Actually," Steven began hesitantly. "Connie had an idea." And he held out his phone with the resort's website already loaded as he rapidly explained the whole adventure park thing. "It's like a real life Camp Pining Hearts," he explained. "Only you don't have to stay all summer and make friendship bracelets. I know she'd love it."

"Uhh..." Greg tapped a few links until he found the price list, and the blood drained out of his face. "Is that the overnight- wow." He opened his mouth to suggest that maybe it was a little too expensive, maybe next year, how about holding a cookout for Peridot too and reusing the party supplies, but then he made the mistake of making eye contact with his son. Steven immediately opened his eyes as wide as he could do so without actually shapeshifting, and Greg caved. "Ah, all right. It'll be nice to sleep in an actual bed for a change," he added under his breath.

"You should buy a house," Steven scolded.

"I have a van," Greg protested half-heartedly. Steven narrowed his eyes suspiciously and Greg relented. "All right, I'm scared if I buy a house, I'll slip up somewhere and trigger a tax investigation and the IRS will take all my money away."

Steven blinked in surprise. "Is that likely?"

"I don't know," Greg admitted. "And I'm scared to find out."

"Well... you could hire a lawyer or an accountant or something to make sure nothing goes wrong," Steven suggested. "And buy a house. With a room for me. Because I'm getting too old to sleep in the van now. And so are you," he added sternly.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." For a brief moment, Greg allowed himself to fantasize about owning a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and a bedroom with an actual bed in.

"And if you lived in a house, you could give Peridot the van," Steven finished.

Greg snorted. "Uh, no." He had a sneaking suspicion that if Peridot owned any sort of mobile home, she'd try to drive it. And the police might have a problem with that. "Is she still living in your bathroom? I'm not sure it'd be a good idea to give her a laptop or a musical instrument if that's where she's gonna put them."

"Oh no- well, not exactly. She moved her stuff out into the main house after Lion jumped in the bathtub one day and splashed water all over her tablet charger. But she does stay in there most nights," Steven explained.

Greg opened his mouth to ask what happened if Steven needed to use the bathroom during the night, and then decided he didn't want to know. "Sounds like she needs her own room," he said instead.

"That's why I suggested the van."

"Still no," Greg said bluntly. "But I will let you buy her a guitar."

xxx

To everyone's surprise, Steven's birthday passed without a hitch. Ronaldo didn't pester the birthday boy for too much information about Lars' space adventures. Onion didn't set anything on fire except for a few pieces of driftwood and most of the packaging from Steven's gifts. No Homeworld gems showed up to crash the party. Dr. Maheswaran did indeed insist upon staying and lurking in the background, but a few extra-strength pina coladas soon mellowed her out. Even Pearl only burst into tears once. All in all, Steven thought privately as he poked the bonfire, it had been a roaring success.

"Good day?" Connie asked, coming to stand next to him.

"Yeah." He stabbed a marshmallow and then handed her the bag. "I'd say it was my best one, but when I was six, Dad took me to the zoo and they let me feed fish to a penguin."

"Tough act to follow," Connie agreed. She stabbed a marshmallow and held it above the dying flames. "Peridot's party might beat it though. When are you going, in three days?"

"Two," Steven corrected. "We're getting there the day before."

"I get why you chose that day, but I kinda wish you'd spaced them out a little more so I had more time to buy a present." Connie popped the marshmallow in her mouth and then dug in the pocket of her shorts. "'Ere. Ca' 'ou give thi' to 'er?" she asked, her mouth half-gummed shut with melted goo.

"Sure, no problem. What is it?" he asked, turned the gift over in his hands.

"A present for Peridot, duh." She laughed at his exasperated expression. "Sorry. It's a pendant with a little globe charm. It just seemed right, what with you both calling it an Earthday."

"It's perfect!" Steven laughed with delight. "She's gonna love it!"

xxx

Two days later, Greg's van pulled up outside cabin L78. As he unloaded a crate of food and carried it into the light and spacious kitchen, he had to admit, it had been worth splashing out the extra cash for a luxury cabin that actually allowed them to use the water dispenser in the fridge. There were also notably fewer snakes in this one, which was surely a good sign.

"I call this room!" Steven yelled, charging into one of the bedrooms and flinging himself face down on the bed.

"Shouldn't Peridot get first pick? It's her Earthday, after all," Pearl commented.

Peridot stopped tinkering with the television and stared at them in surprise. "I get a room?"

"Ah, well, I mean to say-" Pearl began, getting flustered.

"Yeah, take your pick," Greg cut in. " _Not_ the bathroom," he added sternly as she immediately started heading in that direction. "One of the bedrooms."

Peridot glanced into the room Steven had picked, and then poked her head around the doorway of the other bedroom. A few other doors revealed a closet, a smaller bathroom and a small laundry room, but that was it. "Where's the rest of the rooms?"

"There aren't any more," Amethyst called from somewhere behind the three crates of her own food.

Peridot narrowed her eyes, wondering if this was somehow a trick. "Am I sharing a room?" she asked warily. She wouldn't mind if that was the case, but even then, two rooms for six people still didn't seem quite like enough, especially when two of those people would probably actually use them for sleeping.

"Nope." Garnet grinned down at her. "It's all yours."

"Wait, then where are you guys all going to sleep?" Steven asked, finally figuring out the problem.

"We're not." Pearl shuddered.

"We're not staying here tonight," Garnet clarified. "We have a matter to attend to back at the Temple. But we'll be back first thing tomorrow."

"Oh." Steven and Peridot glanced at each other in surprise, but as it solved the sleeping arrangements, neither of them made any further comment, and Peridot claimed the second bedroom for herself. Pearl began cleaning the kitchen, despite Greg's assurances that housekeeping had already visited earlier in the day. As soon as she finished, Amethyst promptly undid all her hard work by making dinner, and Garnet watched impassively as Steven and Peridot sat on the deck outside and went over the itinerary for the next day.

"We've got archery and abseiling from ten to twelve," Steven stated, pointing out the location on the site map. "Then a break for lunch before kayaking and fencing, another break, then a bit of falconry to finish off."

"Sounds like you're going to be very busy," Garnet observed, leaning over to look at the map as well. "I'm exhausted just hearing about it."

"Well we only have one day to recreate the authentic Camp Pining Hearts experience," Peridot pointed out. "As it is, we had to omit the nature hike."

"We could have our own hike," Steven suggested. "After the falconry. Look, we could take this path through the forest and around the edge of the lake."

"An excellent idea!" Peridot said approvingly.

"May I make a suggest?" Without waiting for an answer, Garnet leaned over and traced her finger along another path. "Take this route. It's a little longer, but it's a much more pleasant walk."

"I have no objections to that suggestion." Peridot glanced over at Steven, who nodded in agreement.

"Good." Garnet glanced back at the cabin and then straightened up. "Dinner's ready. Let's head back in."

After what turned out to be a rather loud and jolly meal, the three elder Crystal Gems said their goodbyes and disappeared into the night. Greg decided to take full advantage of the facilities and locked himself in the bathroom with a beer, a book and a bathbomb full of glitter and flower petals, leaving Peridot and Steven alone in the main room to watch a movie.

Two hours later, the credits rolled and Steven stretched and yawned. "Sorry 'Dot, I'm gonna have to go to sleep or I'll be too tired to function tomorrow."

"That's fine," Peridot said quickly, trying to hide her flash of disappointment. "I'll just..." She looked around and lunged for her tablet. "Read some fanfic."

"You could try sleeping too, y'know," he suggested. "It'll make tomorrow come quicker."

She stared back at him in confusion. "No it won't?"

"No, you're right, it won't," he admitted with a laugh. "But it'll _feel_ quicker."

"Hmm." Peridot looked back down at her tablet and belatedly noticed the lack of wifi. "Very well, I'll give it a try."

"Cool!" He jumped to his feet and held out a hand to help her up as well. "I'll see you in the morning then. After I check to make sure Dad hasn't drowned in the bath."

xxx

Peridot wasn't entirely sure if she'd done sleeping correctly at first, but had to conclude that she must have been successful when a knock on her door jolted her out of a strange vision in which she was trying to cross a river with a flag she'd stolen from Paulette. She opened her eyes just in time to see Steven cautiously push the door open and enter with one hand hidden behind his back.

"Good morning, Eathday girl," he greeted when he saw she was awake. "Did you sleep well?"

Peridot sat up a little and considered that for a moment. "It was... weird."

Steven didn't look concerned by that assessment. "Yeah, that's sleep. So, when it's my birthday," he said, completely changing the subject, "I usually get breakfast in bed. But I guess that's not really something you can do right now, so I picked you some flowers instead." And with that, he pulled his hand out from behind him to reveal a slightly untidy bouquet of wildflowers.

"Oh!" Peridot sat up straighter and accepted them with delight. "Thank you, they're lovely!" She paused. "Although by harvesting them in this manner, you have guaranteed their untimely demise."

"Huh." His face fell. "Not quite the mood I was going for today."

"I still like them very much," Peridot assured him. She swung her legs out of bed, stood up and took the bouquet from him. "And they'll last a few days once I've put them in water."

"OK." Steven followed her out into the main room and watched as she hunted for a vase. Next year, he decided, he would get her a potted plant.

The other bedroom door opened and Greg emerged. "Good morning, happy Earthday," he said with a sleepy smile. "What time is it?"

"Just after nine," Steven said.

"You got time for presents before we have to go?"

"Presents?" Peridot repeated hopefully.

"Well, yeah." Greg smiled at her. "Gotta have presents on your very first Earthday, right? Steven, do you wanna go and get them?"

"Yup." He ducked past his father and into the bedroom, reappearing a moment later with several wrapped gifts and his old birthday crown perched on top. "Here," he said, and perched the crown precariously on top of her pointy hair. "You'll probably have to take it off before archery and stuff, but you can wear the birthday crown for now." He shifted the presents until he could hand her one without dropping the rest. "This one's from Connie."

"And this one's from me," Greg interjected, plucking a large, rectangular gift from the top of the pile and handing it over. "It kinda goes with Steven's though, so I'll let you open it after his."

"Which would be this one," Steven finished, handing over the largest of the packages.

Peridot quickly unwrapped them and exclaimed happily over her pendant, guitar and book of guitar tabs, but she couldn't help noticing that none of the gifts were from the Crystal Gems. But then, she told herself, maybe they wanted to give her their gifts in person. She put the pendant on, and left the rest of her gifts in her room, and the three of them set off towards the outdoor activity range.

The next eight hours were, as Garnet had predicted, exhausting, but they enjoyed every minute of it. It didn't matter that Peridot struggled with her bow or that Steven capsized twice or that the fencing instructor flatly refused to let them participate until they were both wearing appropriate footwear, they had fun anyway. The only damper on the day was that the gems failed to reappear.

"I hope they're OK," Steven said a little anxiously as they handed the gloves back after falconry. "They haven't had a mission that's lasted so long in ages."

"Maybe we should've gone with them," Peridot replied, suddenly feeling guilty that she'd been having a lovely time feeding dead mice to an owl instead of helping the gems do whatever it was they were doing. "Our absence has probably affected them more than they expected and now they need our help-"

"They're fine," Greg quickly interjected before either of them could start blaming themselves for imaginary crisis. "Well, it's taking a little longer than I expected, but it's all good. I can't say any more than that," he added solemnly as they both looked curiously at him. Sensing further questions, he quickly excused himself. "I'll leave you two to your hike now, I'm gonna head back to the cabin and start packing up so we can check out."

The two young gems watched him leave, and then set off towards the forest trail Garnet had recommended. "So," Steven began, sidestepping a rather large muddy puddle and holding out a hand to help her around it. "Have you had a good day?"

"It's the best Earthday I've ever had," Peridot said seriously, and then laughed at her own joke.

Steven grinned at her and gave her hand a squeeze. "You're cute when you laugh."

Peridot blinked in stunned surprise, but before she could say anything, Steven carried on talking. "It would be cool to do this again, but maybe for a couple of days, so we don't have to cram everything into one day. It would've been neat to do that treetop thing with the zipline, right?"

"Uh, right." She scrambled for something sensible to say, but her brain seemed to be stuck on the fact that he was still holding her hand. "The uh, thing, with the uh..." She closed her eyes and concentrated. "Windsurfing!"

"Yeah, that looked fun- oh!" He stumbled to a halt and stared, open-mouthed at the pretty little waterfall and forest pool that had just come into sight between the trees. "Look!"

They walked a little closer and gazed into the water. Tiny fish darted between the weeds and the water was so clear, they could see all the way to the bottom. "It's beautiful," Peridot breathed. "It's just like the secret pool in series three!"

"Yeah." Steven wrinkled his nose slightly. "Although I really hope there isn't a dead body in this one." Then he grinned and nudged her. "Fancy a swim?"

"No!" She laughed again, but took a quick step back, just in case.

"I'm joking, he reassured her. "But... you know they would on Camp Pining Hearts."

Peridot considered that for a moment. "That's true. But I still don't want to."

"That's fine, it's your Earthday." He stepped away from the water as well and began heading back towards the path. "Come on, we'd better get going again."

Peridot glanced back at the water for a moment and then made up her mind. "Steven?"

"Yeah?" He stopped and looked expectantly at her.

"There is something else I'd like to do, if it's OK with you," she said hesitantly. "To- to accurately replicate the full Camp Pining Hearts experience, as it were."

"Sure, what is it?"

She took a deep breath and cursed inwardly as she felt her cheeks heat up. "Would- would you give me a kiss?"

He stared at her for a second and then smiled warmly. "I'd love to."

And with that, he stepped forward and gently tilted her chin before leaning forward and quickly pressing his lips against hers. "Like that?" he asked once they'd parted.

"Uh huh," she squeaked and then cleared her throat. "Yes, that was acceptable."

" _Acceptable!?_ " He huffed and stepped back. "If it's only acceptable, I must be doing something wrong. Can I try again?"

She giggled and nodded. "You may."

This time, the kiss lasted a little longer, and they were both breathless and flushed afterwards. "So um, was that better?" Steven asked a little self-consciously, taking hold of her hands in his.

She briefly considered saying no, just to see if he'd kiss her a third time, but she didn't want to inadvertently hurt his feelings, so she nodded. "Much better."

He smiled and squeezed her hands again. "Glad I could help." His eyes flickered upwards towards the darkening sky and he sighed. "Come on," he said reluctantly. "We'd better hurry up. Dad's expecting us."

They continued along the trail, hand in hand, until they arrived back at the cabin. Greg was waiting for them. The Crystal Gems were not. "It's really too late for them to come back now," Greg explained, silently thankful that he hadn't gone with his initial impulse to book a cabin with more rooms. "They're gonna meet us back at the beach house."

"Good thing you took all those photos and videos," Steven commented. Peridot said nothing; she knew it wasn't personal, but she still couldn't help feeling hurt that they'd missed her entire day.

But there was one last surprise waiting when they returned home. As soon as the stepped over the darkened threshold, the lights turned on and the Crystal Gems jumped out from the side of the kitchen. "Surprise!" Garnet and Pearl called out.

"Happy Earthday to you, happy Earthday to you," Amethyst sang.

Pearl nudged her crossly. "We agreed we weren't going to sing that," she hissed.

Steven and Peridot ignored the small argument and looked around, trying to figure out what the surprise actually was. "Over here," Garnet called, beckoning them forward.

"Happy Earthday, not 'cha birthday-"

"Oh!" Peridot stared in rapture at the star on the temple door. The door that now sported a brand new green gem above the inner point on the bottom of the star. "My own room!?"

"Happy Earthdaaaaaaaaaaay to you!" Amethyst finished and bowed theatrically.

"You knew about this, didn't you?" Steven turned and asked his father.

Greg grinned. "I had some idea."

"Greg told us you thought Peridot should have her own room, and we agreed," Garnet explained. "Sorry it took so long." She stepped aside and gestured towards the door. "It took us a while to agree on the layout."

Peridot took a hesitant step forward and watched in amazement as the green gem glowed and the door split open. She stepped forward...

...And found herself standing in a perfect replica of the bathroom.

"You can change it, of course," Garnet said, stepping inside after her. "But we thought you might like something familiar to start with."

"I still maintain that we should've gone for a simple and pleasant meadow scene," Pearl muttered.

"So now you're a real Crystal Gem!" Amethyst clapped her on the back.

"Happy Earthday, Peridot. I hope our gift makes up for our absence." Garnet smiled and turned to leave. "And I hope you and Steven enjoyed your hike."


	4. LIFE AND DEATH AND LOVE AND BIRTH (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freeing the humans from Pink Diamond's zoo doesn't go entirely to plan.

"Greetings everyone. It's time to... uh, sit down and um, be quiet?"

For possibly the first time ever, the people of Pink Diamond's zoo ignored the little voice from their earrings and continued to run around all over the ship, chattering in excitement to one another. 8XK looked to 8XJ for help, but her sister was too busy trying to stop them from doing any damage to themselves or the ship to notice, and so 8XK tapped the mic and tried again. "Time to sit down quietly."

The people paid absolutely no attention.

"Hey!" Amethyst put her fingers in her mouth and whistled, making everybody jump. "Keep it down, will ya!?"

As the trio of Amethysts tried to organize the humans into some sort of order, Peridot ignored them all entirely and kept her eyes fixed upon the ship's scanner. Even though she was well aware that it was a silly human superstition and would make no difference to the mission, she couldn't help crossing her fingers behind her back. They needed all they luck they could get now that Holly Blue had sold them out.

The crossed fingers didn't help. Just a few seconds later, an object appeared on the scanner and began moving rapidly towards the zoo, and her breath caught in her throat." We have incoming."

""What?" Amethyst ran over and looked over her shoulder. "Shit! How long do they have?"

Peridot made some quick mental calculations as she fumbled for her cell phone and hit _send_ on the precomposed message. "At the current rate of velocity... three minutes."

"Shit," Amethyst said again. " _Shit._ "

That pretty much summed up Peridot's feelings as well, so she made no reply. Instead, the two of them waited in tense silence for another minute, and then Peridot sent out a second message. There was nothing else they could do.

Well. That wasn't entirely true. Her gaze drifted towards the ship's built-in comms unit. If, for some reason, her messages weren't going through, or couldn't be heard over whatever activity might be taking place on the zoo, she _could_ send a message directly to the zoo itself, to be played over the security system. The problem was, they already knew Homeworld were monitoring the communications, and sending a message via the ship would reveal their position at once. And for that reason, Garnet had expressly forbidden them to touch it. "If we don't make it back in time, go. Steven's shield will protect us, and we can survive the vacuum of space. The zoo inhabitants can't. Their safety is our top priority."

Another thirty seconds had passed. Peridot sent out another message. And looked at the comms unit again.

"Do it, Peridot," Amethyst said softly.

Peridot shook her head. "Garnet said not to-"

"Garnet isn't here!" Amethyst snapped. "Sorry," she added as Peridot flinched. "But we gotta do _something,_ we can't just abandon them!"

"No." Peridot shook her head stubbornly. Somehow, arguing about it with Amethyst made it easier to resist. "We follow the plan."

"Dammit, Peridot!" Amethyst waved a hand angrily back at her sisters, who were still trying to keep the people under control. "Three of my sisters have been shattered! More are missing, along with all the other Amethysts who worked there! Steven's still down there too! Don't you _care!?_ "

"Of course I care!" Peridot shot back. "Do you really think I _want_ to be sitting here, waiting and doing nothing!? But if Homeworld detect this vessel and fire upon it, we'll _all_ be shattered! Your sisters will have given their lives for nothing!"

Amethyst glared bitterly at her. "Coward. If you don't do it, I will."

"Fine." Peridot stepped aside, blinking away angry tears. "Do it. I won't stop you."

"Fine!" Amethyst stepped forward and raised her hands to the screen, and hesitated. She couldn't bring herself to actually touch it. Peridot was right. Sending a message this way would kill them all. "GodDAMMIT!" She spun around and punched the wall instead, leaving a sizable dent behind.

"Did that help?" Peridot asked sarcastically.

"Shut up," Amethyst muttered, but the venom had gone from her voice now. "How long?"

Peridot glanced back at the scanner and inhaled shakily. "Twenty sec-"

Before she could finish, a portal opened in the middle of the room and Lion skidded to halt in front of them with Garnet, Pearl and Steven on his back. The humans began screaming in terror, but there was no time to indulge them. "Go, go, go!" Garnet shrieked, sliding ungainly off his back. "Let's get out of here!"

Peridot didn't need to be told twice. She lunged for the controls and activated the gravity engine, and the ship vanished just as the zoo exploded behind them.

xxx

As soon as they emerged from the wormhole, Peridot put the ship on autopilot and made her way over to the others. Steven reached into Lion's mane and began removing bubbled gems, Garnet was talking quietly to the weeping Amethysts, and Pearl did her best to distract the humans. As soon as he saw her, Steven abandoned his task and pulled her into a fierce hug. "I love you," he whispered in a shaky voice. "I love you so much."

"Um." She squirmed slightly because he really was holding her uncomfortable tight. "I love you too." She pulled back and looked up at his pale face in concern. "What happened?"

"Shh." He shot a quick glance at the zoo humans. "Later." He reluctantly released her and stepped back. "I need to get the rest of the Amethysts and Jaspers out of Lion."

The rest of the journey was a somber one. They'd managed to find fourteen intact Amethyst and Jasper gems, plus Carnelian, and another five that were only cracked, something that Steven was quick to fix. But at least nine of them had been completely shattered and the gems who'd worked with them for so many years felt their loss deeply. Even the woefully naive zoo people seemed to be aware that something was wrong and finally fell silent.

They arrived at Mask Island first, and it was a relief when the Watermelon Stevens took over the task of looking after the humans. They danced around them, chattering in their own, unfamiliar language, making the people laugh, and then led them away towards the small community they'd built. The Amethysts, Jaspers and Carnelian followed behind a little more slowly.

"All right," Pearl began. "Let's go-"

"Wait," Amethyst blurted out. "Can I go with them? Just for a little while," she hastily added. "I just... I'd like to stay with them a bit. They don't know this place, they could use my help." She shuffled her feet awkwardly. "Plus, they're my sisters. After what happened today, I just wanna... y'know, be with them."

"Of course." Garnet nodded. "Stay as long as you need."

"Thanks, G," she said gratefully, and gave her a quick hug. "Hey, Steven?" she asked, turning to him. "Would you mind using your weird watermelon powers to come check in every now and then?"

"Sure, no problem." He stepped forward and gave her a hug too. "Stay safe."

"Will do." She stepped back and then turned to hug Pearl. "See you around, Pearl."

Pearl smiled and wiped a tear from her eye. "Take care, Amethyst."

Finally she turned to Peridot. "Hey, look," she said, looking guilty. "I'm really sorry I was such a bitch to you back there."

"It's fine." Peridot hugged her as well. "You were under a lot of emotional strain."

"I was still a bitch though."

"You were," Peridot acknowledged, and Amethyst laughed.

"Bye guys!" She stepped out of the ship and turned to give them a wave. "See ya!"

They waited until she was out of sight before resuming their journey. Peridot landed the ship on the sand outside the house, and once they'd all disembarked, Steven and Garnet dragged it into the Temple and out of the way.

And then came the unpleasant task of removing all the shattered gems from Lion's mane. Garnet opened the door to her room, but when Steven stepped forward, she held out a hand to stop him. "Pearl and I can take care of this."

"Are you sure?" He shot a doubtful look in Lion's direction.

"I'm sure." Garnet smiled placidly at him and neglected to mention that if Lion didn't cooperate, she'd just leave the gems where they were until she could get a hold of Lars instead. Still, once she'd grabbed a Lion Licker out of the freezer, the animal was happy enough to follow her and Pearl, and the door closed behind them.

As soon as they were gone, Steven slumped onto the sofa and groaned loudly. Peridot sat down next to him and he immediately flopped over and lay his head in her lap. For several seconds, she just ran her fingers through his hair until she felt some of the tension leave him. "Was it... very bad?" she asked tentatively.

Steven grimaced. "The worst." He fell silent, trying to work out where to begin. "We found Holly Blue. I wish we could've warned her it wouldn't do any good."

"She would've assumed it was a trick and told anyway," Peridot reminded him.

"I know." He sighed gloomily. "I still wish we could've told her. She was horrible, but she didn't deserve that."

Peridot, who'd had her own awful Agate manager back on Homeworld, wisely decided not to respond to that. "Maybe you can fix her one day," she said instead. "And the Amethysts."

"Honestly, I'm not entirely sure we found all of them," he admitted. "There didn't seem to be enough shards for nine." He shifted a little so he could reach her hand. "They shattered the Peridots too."

Peridot flinched. They'd only met the three Peridots who worked in the zoo on one occasion, and they'd turned down the offer to escape to Earth, but they'd agreed to keep everything a secret and taught Pearl how the zoo's computer system worked so that she could shut down the security system when the time came. It seemed they'd paid dearly for their silence. "We did all we could," she said quietly. "When we got the message, we knew we wouldn't be able to save everybody. And we _did_ save the humans and most of the Amethysts."

"I know," Steven said again. "But I still can't help feeling like we failed. Homeworld found out what we were planning."

He fell silent again and stared pensively into the distance. Peridot waited, sensing there was more, and sure enough, he spoke again. "We were in the throne room when you sent us the first warning. I think they already knew we were there right from the start, they were just waiting for us to go _there_." Tears rose in his eyes and he choked down a sob. "They... all the Rose Quartz gems..."

"I'm so sorry, Steven." She hugged him tighter, suddenly understanding why he'd done the same when he saw her. "Did... did you get them all in time?"

"Yeah," he muttered. "Not that it really makes a difference. Let's face it, I'm never going to be able to heal shattered gems. Now I'm the last Rose Quartz left."

Peridot was quiet for a moment. "...Maybe that's not entirely true."

"Hmm?" He tilted his face up and looked quizzically at her. "What do you mean?"

"I'm pregnant."

" _What!?_ " He sat upright at once and almost headbutted her. "Are you sure?" He suddenly paled. "Are you gonna be OK?"

"I'm sure. Garnet told me yesterday. And I'll be fine." She smiled dryly. "This isn't quite like your mother's situation. She planned for it and shapeshifted the appropriate equipment and gave up her gem entirely to create you."

"Don't think I really want to know all the details about my mom's pregnancy," Steven said with a shudder.

"Well in our case, it was a complete accident, because we didn't think it could happen," she continued, ignoring his comment. "But it would appear that your magic body fluids aren't limited to healing spit and resurrection tears. You've become a sort of... organic injector."

"Gross." Steven couldn't help laughing though.

"I have no idea if our child will be a Rose Quartz. They could be a Peridot, or even a Tourmaline," Peridot carried on. "And even if they're not a Rose Quartz, that doesn't mean all hope is lost. You have a new power! Who knows, maybe one of your other body fluids will have the power to heal shattered gems!"

Steven pulled a face of disgust. "I really cannot imagine any ethical way of testing that theory. Still, you're right." He leaned forward and kissed her gently. "Just because I can't heal them now, doesn't mean we won't find a way." Then his eyes widened. "Hey, maybe our kid will be the one who can heal shattered gems!"

"Maybe," Peridot conceded. "Maybe not. We'll have to wait and see."

"Yeah." He leaned back at stared aimlessly out of the window. "Wow. I'm gonna be a father."

"You're gonna be a father," Peridot repeated serenely. "In about seven months."

"Wow," he said again, and vaguely wondered if he knew anybody with a baby he could borrow to practice baby care-stuff with. There was Ex-Nine, he supposed, and she might appreciate the help now they were living on a whole new planet with no little voices to guide them. "I have no idea what to do," he admitted.

"Me neither." She leaned forward and kissed him again. "But we'll figure it out together."

"And it'll be great," he finished.


	5. OUT OF SYNC (G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Peridot struggle with fusion.

He could already tell it wasn't going to work. She was far too tense, and concentrating more on her footwork than him. But he knew she'd be hurt if he suggested stopping right in the middle, so all he could do was continue to dance and wait for the inevitable failure.

Sure enough, as the song ended and he dipped her, nothing happened. Peridot waited expectantly for several seconds and then growled with frustration. "Ugh! I really thought we had it that time, why isn't it working!?"

"I'm sure we're getting close," Steven said diplomatically, setting her back down on the sand. "We've got a good routine, and we know the steps. We just need to relax a little, that's all. Let's take a break," he quickly suggested before she could ask to try again. "We've been doing this for a while now, I need to eat."

He'd half expected her to argue, but instead, she just nodded silently and followed him back towards the house. It should've given him a clue as to just how unhappy she was, but he was too preoccupied by thoughts of food to notice. It wasn't until they stepped inside and she immediately flopped face-down on the sofa that he finally began to realize she was still upset. "Hey," he said softly, and sat down next to her and patted her back. "It's OK. We'll get there eventually."

Peridot turned her face to one side so she could scowl at him. "Or we might not," she gloomily predicted. "My gem was never designed for fusion, after all."

"We'll get there," Steven repeated a little more forcefully. "If I can fuse with Connie, I can _definitely_ fuse with you."

Peridot twitched, but couldn't be bothered coming up with an argument. Instead, she sat up and hugged a cushion and watched as he crossed over to the kitchen area and started rummaging through the cupboards. Then the Temple door opened and Amethyst stepped out. "Ooh, making dinner?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes. For me," he said sternly. "There's only one pack of ramen and it's mine."

Amethyst thought quickly. "Let me have some, and I'll cook it. I'll chuck in some veggies and egg and make us noodle soup."

Steven glanced over at his morose girlfriend and decided to accept Amethyst's offer so that he could go and try and comfort her some more. "You know," he began, walking back over to her, "all my fusions so far have been by accident. Maybe we're just trying too hard."

"Ugh," Peridot mumbled.

"So I was thinking, maybe we should just just dance for fun," he continued. "Beach-a-Palooza's in like, two weeks time, we could go together? Like... a date?" He smiled hopefully at her. "And we can just hang out together and listen to the music and stuff."

Peridot wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Thank you, but I think I would prefer not to," she muttered. "Music no longer brings me any joy. I shall never dance again."

Steven rolled his eyes and stood up. "Fine, forget it. I'll go with Con-"

Before he could finish, Peridot shot to her feet and flung the cushion into his surprised face. "Go then! Dance with Connie! Fuse with Connie! Spend a week on a jungle planet as Stevonnie! Why would I care, I'm only supposed to be your _girlfriend_!" she spat, and then spun on her heel and stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door hard enough to make the entire house shake.

There were several seconds of stunned silence, and then Amethyst slowly clapped her hands together. "Nice going, asshole," she said sarcastically.

Steven blinked in confusion. "What did I do?" he asked, looking down at the cushion at his feet.

"Seriously!?" Amethyst shook her head, exasperated. "You're lucky I'm hungry or I'd throw this saucepan at you as well."

"What? Why!? All I said was I'd go with Connie!" he protested.

"Yeah, after you said you with _her_ as a date," Amethyst reminded him.

"But I didn't mean I'd take Connie as a date!" he said, appalled. "I just meant- she's just a _friend_!"

"A friend you fuse with," Amethyst pointed out. "Something you two have spent the last what, three hours trying to do? Unsuccessfully, I'm guessing."

He flushed and looked away. "I fuse with you too, it doesn't mean anything," he muttered, but he already knew it was a lousy excuse. Just because it didn't meant anything to him, didn't mean it meant nothing to other people, and from the look on Amethyst's face, he could tell she was thinking the same thing.

"Thanks. Way to diss Smokey," she said scathingly. She took the saucepan off the heat and Steven ducked, seriously expecting it to go sailing over his head, but she just began serving it up, albeit with a lot of unnecessarily loud crashing of cutlery and crockery. "It's not nice to make other people feel inadequate, you know that."

He opened his mouth to protest some more, then shut it again. He really didn't want to be hit in the face with steaming noodles. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Whatever." She shrugged and turned her back on him. "Go be nice to your girlfriend before I eat your noodles out of spite."

Steven sighed and turned to face the closed bathroom door. "Peridot?" He knocked gently. "I'm sorry. Can we talk?"

There was an ominously long silence, but just as he was about to knock again, the lock clicked and the door opened a fraction. "I suppose so," she muttered.

Steven pulled the door open a little further and stepped inside. The bathroom wasn't exactly where he would've chosen to have a serious talk, but it was a better option than doing it in front of Amethyst. Peridot was sat on the floor by the bath, hugging her knees and avoiding his eyes, and he crossed the room and sat down beside her. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I shouldn't have said I'd take Connie to Beach-a-Palooza. I didn't mean as anything more than friends, and I definitely didn't mean so we could fuse or anything, but I should've realized it would hurt your feelings after we didn't manage to fuse."

Peridot continued to glare moodily at the far wall for a few seconds longer, then the fight drained out of her and she sagged against him. "What if I can't do it, Steven?"

"Then we'll have a relationship without fusion," he said at once. "Pretty much everybody else manages it, we can too." He paused. "I think you can though. With me, at least. But I also think you're not quite um... in the right frame of mind," he tried to explain. "I think you're trying too hard to make it happen. Like when I was first learning fusion with the gems, they showed me all the dances they did, and I just tried to copy them, and it didn't work. It's not just the _moves_ that make you fuse. You've got to be like um, emotionally in sync. Or something."

Peridot mulled over that and then sighed. "I think you may have a point," she grudgingly admitted. "Part of me is still... apprehensive of fusion. You grew up in an environment where it was part of good and loving relationships. I lived in an environment where it was weaponized. Then I saw what it did to Lapis and Jasper. I know you'd never hurt me, but still, that much power... it scares me."

Steven nodded slowly in understanding. "Of course. It makes sense now. You're holding back. Not on purpose," he quickly added as she shot him a look of confusion. "But if you're scared, some part of you is always going to be trying to stop it from happening." He sighed, leaned over and hugged her. "I wish you'd told me you felt that way."

Peridot squirmed uncomfortably. "I suppose I didn't want to let you down. You enjoy fusion so much."

"But I don't want you to force yourself to do something you're afraid off, just to please me!" he protested. He shuffled around until he was facing her and held her hands. "If you don't want to fuse, we don't have to fuse. I think it's fun, but that's _all_ it is to me, just fun. I don't _need_ fusion to be with you."

"I _do_ want to fuse with you though," Peridot argued. "I know now that fusion can be good, especially with somebody you love and trust, and I want to share that experience with you."

"Well... in that case then," he said hesitantly, "I guess we can keep trying. But only if you're comfortable," he added sternly. "If you change your mind, tell me and we'll stop. Deal?"

She gave him a tiny smile. "Deal."

"Perfect." He scrambled to his feet and held out a hand to help her up. "Come on, let's get out of here."

He opened the bathroom door and they stepped out and were immediately greeted with a deafening blast of music.

"DRINK PEPCIOUS SODA! IT'S PEPPY! IT'S DELICIOUS! MADE WITH ALL NATURAL-"

"Sorry!" Amethyst stabbed wildly at the phone until it shut up. "My bad, sorry. I was going for mood music. Got adverts."

Steven and Peridot looked at each other and started laughing. And in that moment, fusion suddenly didn't feel so impossible after all.


	6. THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL (E)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Steven find a way to make training more rewarding

The three elder Crystal Gems had been called away on an urgent mission, and so for once, Steven and Peridot were alone, and fully intended to make the most of it. The lights had been dimmed, candles had been lit, a romantic movie was playing, and both of them were ignoring it completely in favor of making out. Peridot was sat happily in Steven's lap, with his hand up her dress, when they heard the sound of the warp pad activating and flew apart at once.

"Hello!" Pearl cheerfully greeted them and noticing nothing amiss. "We're ba-ack!"

"Yes. We noticed," Peridot muttered grumpily.

"Uh, hi," Steven squeaked guiltily. "That was uh, that was quick."

"Yes, the gem creature turned out to be much more fragile that I was expecting," Garnet admitted.

"Well, now we're home, I think I'm going to tidy the kitchen," Pearl said, reaching out and absently snuffing out a candle. "These things are such a fire hazard," she tutted. "So! Do you two have any plans today?"

"No," Steven mumbled, blushing as Amethyst caught his eye and smirked knowingly. "Might take a shower."

"Actually..." Peridot said slowly. "Perhaps we could go to the arena and train and you could shower later?"

Steven sat up a little straighter and gave her a sidelong glance. "Yeah, that's not a bad idea. We should do that. Now."

They jumped to their feet and Peridot ran up to their room to gather up her supplies while Steven waited impatiently at the bottom of the stairs. As soon as she reappeared, they made a beeline for the warp pad. "Bye! See you later!" they called out, and then vanished.

"Bye!" Pearl called after them, and then she smiled proudly. "How nice to see them so eager to train. You know, they've become quite dedicated lately, I'm very proud of them."

"OK, but you know they're just going there to fuck, right?" Amethyst said blandly, flopping onto the sofa to watch the abandoned movie.

"What!?" Pearl's mouth dropped open. "Amethyst, that's one of your ridiculous jokes, isn't it!? Amethyst!? Of course they're not going there to- to- Amethyst! Tell me you're joking!"

xxx

As it turned out, Amethyst was only half correct. They had indeed gone there to fuck... but first of all, they were actually really going to fight (just as soon as they'd put a large boulder on top of the warp pad to prevent anyone from following them).

That said, there was no way Pearl would've approved of their training either, because the entire purpose of their battle would be to see which one of them would be the first to overpower the other and restrain them with a pair of plastic handcuffs.

"You ready?" Steven hooked his handcuffs out of his pocket and twirled them around his finger and gave her a devilish smile.

"I was born ready," Peridot shot back, and reached up to her gem and withdrew her own handcuffs. "This time, you're going down, Universe."

"Oh, really?" He took up a fighting stance. "You have to win if you want that, and I don't think it's your day."

She smiled sweetly, reached up to her gem again and withdrew a metal baseball bat. "Oh, I wouldn't say that."

They began circling each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. "You know," Steven said thoughtfully, "I think when I win today, I might fuck your ass."

"And when _I_ win, I think I'll fuck yours," she retorted.

Steven started to laugh, not taking her threat seriously at all. And perhaps for good reason; so far, he'd easily won every single battle they'd had here. His extraordinary physical strength and gem powers coupled with the complete lack of metal up on the arena put Peridot at a serious disadvantage. She'd tried, of course; last time they'd come here, she'd even brought a dagger, only to find herself holding back because she was worried about seriously hurting him. Steven had promptly overpowered her, taken the dagger and used it to cut off her panties-

His train of thought was derailed when the bat hit him in the face. "Ow!" he exclaimed, far more surprised than hurt.

"Hah!" she gloated. "That'll teach you to- eek!"

She flung herself to the side just in time to avoid the shield that whizzed over her head. "Spend less time trash-talking and more time fighting," Steven called after her, completely ignoring his own advice as he waited for her to get back to her feet.

As soon as she was upright again, Peridot held out a hand and the bat flew straight back to her. Then she raised it aloft and charged towards him with an incoherent yell. Steven responded by summoning his bubble shield, but that was exactly what Peridot had been expecting, and she instantly adjusted her grip and hit the bubble as hard as she could.

Unfortunately, that wasn't very hard at all. Instead of the bubble being launched into the air as she'd hoped, it simply rolled away a little. The moment it stopped, Steven threw himself against the side of it, and it flew the short distance across the arena and slammed into her, sending her flying into the statue of Yellow Diamond. She bounced off and landed at the statue's feet in an untidy heap.

Before she could recover, Steven was by her side. He grabbed her arm and moved to cuff her. "Looks like I win again-"

The baseball bat, which had rolled away when she crashed, rose up behind him and smacked him on the head. It was all the distraction she needed; in one swift move, she grabbed his wrist, twisted out of his grasp and kicked his legs out from underneath him. Steven, who hadn't expected anywhere near this level of resistance, crashed face first on the ground and before he could make any move to free himself, Peridot had sat on him and cuffed him. "I win!" she crowed with glee. "Praise me!"

"All right, you win, you're the best," Steven conceded with a laugh. "So now you have me, what are you going to do with me?" He tried to twist his head around to look at her. "I believe you said I was 'going down'?"

"Hmm." Peridot climbed off his back and moved around to kneel in front of him. "Actually..." Without elaborating further, she reached up to her gem once again, this time removing a six inch dildo, and Steven's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

"Uh, are you um, planning to use that on me?" he asked apprehensively, belatedly recalling her earlier threat. "I mean, I guess I'm willing to give it a try-"

"Oh no, this is all for me," she said cheerfully, and parted her thighs so that her dress rode up. "You lost. You get nothing."

"Huh?" He blinked in confusion, but instead of elaborating any further, Peridot pulled the hem of her dress up a little further, giving him a splendid view of her crotch, barely covered in lacy white panties. Then she twisted the base of the dildo, which began to buzz gently in her hands, and held it against her pussy.

"Oooh!" She gasped and rocked her hips, grinding against her new toy. "This is- oh!"

Steven shifted into a slightly more comfortable position and watched with some amusement as his girlfriend continued to pleasure herself inches from his nose. "Having fun?" he asked, watching the growing damp patch on her panties.

"Oh _yes,_ " she sighed. Her eyes fluttered closed and she reached up with one hand and massaged her breast.

"Need a hand at all?" he asked hopefully.

"No thank you, I'm doing fine. Although..." She stopped grinding and climbed to her feet, and then hooked her fingers into the waistband of her underwear, pulled them down and kicked them towards him. "Here. Look after these for me."

Steven's mouth dropped open in disbelief as the panties landed next to his chin. Was she really just going to leave him there and masturbate in front of him instead? Apparently so, he realized a moment later when she sat back down in front of him and started running the tip of the vibrator between her pussy lips until it glistened with her arousal. Then she leaned back slightly and allowed an inch to slide into her. "Ahhh... oh that feels good," she moaned, withdrawing it and immediately sliding it back in a little deeper. "Hah..."

He watched with morbid fascination as she took in more and more of the silicone phallus, until she reached the flared base. The noises she were making were obscene, the view she was presenting him was obscene, and it was torture to be unable to touch her. His pants felt far, far too tight, but he didn't dare move too much in case he made a mess of himself. "Peridot..." he whined pitifully. "Let me play too, please?"

"Ah... n-no," she gasped, letting go of her breast and reaching down to roll her clit between her fingers. "You _lost._ I get to celebrate." She pumped the dildo into herself a couple more times, moaning louder than she really meant, just to wind him up. "H-hey," she panted, giving him an evil smile. "You recall our earlier wager? Maybe I should fuck my _own_ ass."

"You wouldn't." He really hoped she would.

"Wouldn't I?" She immediately withdrew the dripping dildo from her pussy and pressed it against her asshole instead. "Watch me." And she pushed it in.

It hurt a little more than she'd expected, but once the bulbous tip had entered her, the rest went in a little more easily and the burning pain quickly eased. She twisted the base again and the vibrations sped up, and then she started rubbing her clit again. The sensation was almost overwhelming and she quickly abandoned the throbbing bud and ran her fingers around the outside of her labia instead. She didn't want to cum just yet.

"You're _evil_ ," Steven groaned. "This is the most evil thing you've ever done."

"I- ah- rigged up a trap to kill you all," she reminded him cheerfully.

"Yeah, in self defense! This is _torture._ There are _rules!_ " he complained.

She laughed at him. "If you want me to stop, you know the word."

Steven whimpered and closed his eyes. He definitely didn't want her to stop, but he also really wanted to hold out until she let him join in, and right then, he was in very real danger of cumming right there on the ground. But the image of her impaled on the vibrator was burned into his mind and he could still hear the buzzing and the moaning and the slapping sound of wet silicone against flesh. It was driving him _crazy._

"Hey!" She reached out and poked him with her foot. "Watch the show!"

"I was rather hoping it would be an interactive show," he grumbled, but did as he was told.

"Well..." She paused for a moment and smirked at him. "Perhaps I could be persuaded. If you apologize."

He didn't have the faintest idea what he was supposed to be apologizing _for_ , but he obliged at once. "I'm sorry. Completely and utterly. It'll never happen again."

"Hmm." She pushed the dildo back into her ass and moaned. "Ahhhh... wh-what'll never happen again?"

"Uhh..."

"I thought so." She paused again and glared at him, although the overall effect was somewhat diminished by her disheveled appearance and the vibrator in her ass. "Let's see... you were patronizing, you didn't take me seriously, and you completely underestimated me, all of which allowed me to overpower you very quickly."

Steven flushed with shame and looked away. "You're right, I did," he admitted. "I know I'm stronger than you, and I thought that was enough to beat you. I really am sorry."

She pretended to consider that, and then nodded. "I forgive you. Now come here and fuck me."

He didn't need telling twice; now he had her permission, he snapped the handcuffs at once and started fumbling at his fly. "I don't think I'm going to last very long," he warned her as he yanked down his pants and underpants, freeing his aching erection.

She giggled and opened her legs a little wider for him. "Me neither," she admitted. "I've been holding back for you, you oblivious clod!"

He didn't bother replying to that, instead he pulled her closer, kissed her hard and sank himself into her eager cunt. The double penetration was too much for Peridot, and she cried out and clutched at him, shuddering hard as her delayed orgasm swept through her. And as predicted, Steven didn't last much longer either, her performance had been a huge turn-on, and as her muscles clenched around him, he too felt the stimulating vibrations from the dildo and he slammed into her one final time and came hard.

They lay there on the floor, panting hard until they got their breath back, and then Peridot reached around and carefully withdrew the dildo, wincing a little as she did so. It had been fun, but she was definitely going to be sore later. "Ow."

"Want me to kiss it better?" Steven teased.

"Nngh..." She blushed and nodded quickly. "If you wouldn't mind."

"Of course I don't." He rolled her over onto her front, pushed up the hem of her dress a little higher and dropped a quick kiss on one of her butt cheeks. "I don't want you to be sore when I win next time."


	7. CLUSTER.EXE (T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal Gem Law get a new computer system installed

The offices of Diamond, Diamond and Diamond Solicitors was almost entirely silent. There was no chatter between the staff, no rustling of candy wrappers or slurping of coffee, just the quiet tapping of computer keyboards and hushed phone calls. Efficiency and order were ruthlessly maintained by the sisters who ran the company and nobody dared give their job anything less than their undivided attention.

It was a very different atmosphere from the one Peridot was currently experiencing. Loud music pumped out of the dashboard of the delivery van that was currently whizzing down the road a few miles above the speed limit; not enough to catch attention, but more than she was really comfortable with. "Can you slow down a little?" she shouted.

"What?"

"Slow down!"

"What?" Jasper reached out and turned down the volume. "Couldn't hear you."

"I _said_ can you slow down?" Peridot snapped. "Our turning is coming up anyway."

Jasper rolled her eyes but did as she was asked. "Where are we going again?"

Peridot took a deep breath and counted to ten until the urge to scream in frustration passed. "I told you, 215 Temple Street." She tapped at the electronic pad on her lap. "The offices of Crystal Gem Law- eep!"

Jasper slammed on the brakes and the pad flew out of Peridot's hands. "Those assholes!?" she exclaimed. "Are you shitting me!?"

"I assure you, I am not 'shitting you'," Peridot said crossly, adjusting the seat belt that had just tried to saw her in half and leaning down to retrieve the pad. "That's the address I was given."

"Ugh." Jasper ground her teeth together and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. Her first impulse was simply to hop out of the van and go home and let the new intern finish the delivery herself, but if she did that, she'd probably be fired, and she needed this job. "OK. I'll drive you there, but I'm not going in."

Peridot gave her a curious look, then shrugged. "Fine. I can manage."

Jasper started driving again, glaring at the road ahead, and a few minutes later they arrived at their destination. Peridot grabbed her bag, slid out of the cab and entered the building, climbed the stairs up to the fifth floor and pushed open the door of a small but loud office. It was the polar opposite of the offices of Diamond, Diamond and Diamond, and for several seconds, Peridot just stood there in stunned silence as she took in the scene before her.

A tall, pale woman was singing along to the radio as she tinkered with a coffee percolator. Another shorter woman was very clearly playing Candy Crush, and judging from all the "AMAZING!" and "SUGAR CRUSH!" exclamations, she was doing pretty well. A young man was leaning on the desk, pointing out possible moves to her, and both of them were ignoring the ringing telephone. The only person who appeared to be doing any work at all was an even taller black woman at the back of the room who was tapping away at her keyboard. Then she noticed Peridot and smiled at her. "Hello, you must be here with our new computers."

"Yes," Peridot said, raising her voice to be heard above the din. "Four computers donated by 3D Global. I'm here to install them and transfer over your current data. If you could just sign here, I'll start bringing them up."

The woman took the proffered stylus and quickly scribbled on the screen before handing the pad back to Peridot, who checked to make sure everything had been inputted correctly before she stepped outside again and headed back to the van. Jasper was kind enough to lift the first box out of the back, but flatly refused to enter the building, and so Peridot was forced to haul it up the five flights of stairs by herself, a task she didn't really relish having to do another three times.

As it turned out, she didn't have to. She was halfway down the stairs after dropping off the first box when she heard footsteps behind her and turned around to see the young man from the office. "Hi," he called down to her. "Need a hand?"

"I can-" Peridot began, but he'd already skipped down the last few steps and landed beside her. "Mange."

"Sure, but it'd still be quicker with two, right?" He grinned and stuck out a hand. "Steven."

She warily shook his hand. "Peridot."

"No way! Seriously!?"

He started to laugh and Peridot felt her hackles rise. "I have no reason to lie about it," she said stiffly and started walking again, putting on a little speed to see if she could lose him.

"Wait, I didn't mean anything by it," he said, sensing he'd upset her. "It's just, the other ladies in the office? Their names are Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, so you fit right in!"

She blinked and slowed down again. "Oh. I see."

"So it's just me who's the odd one out," he carried on cheerfully. "Although my middle name _is_ Quartz. Because of my mom, her name was Rose Quartz. She's the one who started the business actually, that's why it's called Crystal Gem Law..."

Peridot nodded absently and tried to tune him out; she was only going to be there two days at the most, she really didn't care to hear his entire life story.

"...And after she died, my dad couldn't cope, so they took me in and looked after me until he recovered."

That caught her attention, and she suddenly felt very small and mean for ignoring him. "I'm sorry about your mother," she said softly.

"It was a long time ago, I never really knew her," he said breezily. Then he gave her a small smile. "But... thanks."

They'd arrived at the bottom of the stairwell, and stepped outside to find Jasper pacing back and forth impatiently. "Took your time," she grumbled. "At this rate, it's gonna be quittin' time before we even get the computers off the van." She narrowed her eyes at Steven. "Who's this? One of the Crystal scumbags?"

"I'm here to help. My name's Steven," he said, unfazed by the insult.

"I don't care," Jasper said flatly and shoved a box into his arms. "Just take this."

He adjusted his grip and hmm'd thoughtfully. "I think I can manage another one."

"You sure?" Jasper asked, but she was already sliding another box out of the van. "If you break it, you don't get another one."

"I'm stronger than I look," he said confidently, so Jasper shrugged and placed the second box in his arms as well before handing the last one to Peridot.

"Right, that's me done, I'm out," she said brusquely, and with that, she hopped back into the cab and sped off. Peridot watched her departure with a small pang of loss; it was her first day out in the field and now she was alone with strangers, she suddenly felt a little lost and lonely. But she quickly shook off the feeling and followed Steven back up the five flights of stairs, and tried not to be too impressed when he manged the entire journey without a break. Despite her best efforts, it was a feat she couldn't emulate and she had to stop and rest on the fourth floor. Once they were back in the office though, she set straight to work.

"Ooh, new monitors as well!" The short woman abandoned her game and stood uncomfortably close as Peridot slid the shiny new flat screen monitor out of the first box.

"Yes, and a good thing too," Peridot muttered, glancing disdainfully towards the ancient, boxy monitors sitting on the desks. "They also come with a wireless mouse and keyboard-"

"Oh, I'm not sure that's a good idea," the tall, pale woman interrupted. "If they're not wired to the computer, I guarantee you, Amethyst _will_ lose them."

"Yeah, Pearl's probably right there," Amethyst admitted, not looking remotely bothered by the accusation. "Any chance I can keep the old ones?"

Peridot took a quick look at one of the computers and shook her head. "No," she flatly concluded. "They use a PS2 connection. Those went obsolete about ten years ago. I suppose I could try and obtain a wired USB set for you..."

"Yeah, I have no idea what any of those nerd words mean." Amethyst picked up her phone again and resumed her game. "Just make it happen."

Peridot opened her mouth and then closed it again and rolled her eyes. There was no point trying to educate the ignorant woman, she reminded herself, because the job would be done in less than two days and she'd never see these people again. So instead, she started unplugging wires on the closest computer and tried to pick up the monitor, which turned out to be a lot heavier than she expected. "Eep!"

"Whoa!" Steven rushed forward and grabbed the other side before she could drop it on her toes. "Steady there!"

His hands covered hers and she felt herself blushing. "I can manage it," she said through gritted teeth, annoyed with herself for such a display of shocking weakness.

"I'm sure you can," he said, giving her a small smile which only made her blush harder. "But it's OK if you need help too. These things aren't exactly light."

"...Fine." She let him help her carry the monitor over to the corner of the office, out of the way and silently vowed to throw it down the stairs rather than ask for help getting it out of the actual building. Then she turned her attention back to the computer. The fact that it had an actual floppy drive was not a good sign. Sure enough, when she popped open the case, her eyes widened in horror. "Is that an IDE ribbon!?"

"Is that bad?" Steven asked, peering curiously into the case as well.

"They stopped making these in 2007!" Peridot lamented. She reached in and popped out a stick of RAM. It was 64MB. "How old _are_ these computers!? I've seen pocket calculators with more power!"

"They were here when I started working here fifteen years ago," Amethyst admitted. "And they were old then."

"They were perfectly fine when Rose Quartz brought them," Pearl said defensively. "And there's nothing wrong with them now!"

"I kinda like them really," Amethyst added. "They're retro."

"They're archaic. They belong in a museum," Peridot said scathingly.

Pearl's mouth dropped open in outrage, but before she could say anything, the woman Peridot had now concluded must be Garnet spoke up. "I suppose they are a little outdated," she said. "I've been doing most of my work on my phone lately. We're a non-profit organization," she explained. "It's a little difficult to justify spending hundreds of dollars on a computer system when we could be using that money to help people. So we do appreciate this donation. Thank you."

Peridot smiled a little self-consciously. "Uh, you're welcome," she mumbled, and quickly got back to work. Her plan had been to remove the old hard drive and plug it into the new computer so she could easily copy the data over to the new drives, but now she wasn't so sure it could be done. As she feared, the motherboard on the new computers was incompatible, and she swore under her breath.

"What's wrong?" Steven asked.

She frowned up at him, beginning to get a little annoyed by his constant presence. "Don't you have your own work to do?" she asked snidely.

"Usually, yes." He gave her a charming smile. "But that's my computer you're taking apart."

"Oh." She blushed and ducked her head again, pretending to be absorbed in the inner workings of the computer.

"You want a cup of coffee or something?" he asked.

"Huh?" Peridot looked up in surprise. "Here? Now?"

"Sure, I can't really do much else at the moment, might as well get everyone coffee."

"Oooh, I'll have a caramel frappe," Amethyst called out at once.

"Just tea for me, if you wouldn't mind," Pearl added.

"Coffee. Black. Thanks," Garnet finished.

"Frappe, tea, coffee, check." Steven ticked off each order on his fingers and turned expectantly back to Peridot. "What about you?"

"Nothing for me, thank you," she decided. Drinks in the workspace were forbidden at Diamond, Diamond and Diamond, and while a part of her would've like a cup of coffee too, she didn't think it would be a good idea around all the computer parts.

Once Steven left, things quietened down. Pearl stopped singing and Amethyst booted up her own computer and began checking her emails. The radio was still playing in the background, but Peridot was able to tune it out as she worked to fix this unexpected problem. As it turned out, she had an adapter that would allow her to plug the hard drive into a USB port, but copying files would be slow, and she'd only be able to do one computer at a time rather than all at once, which meant the job would take a lot longer than the two days she had scheduled. So once she'd got the new system up and switched on, she started typing out a report on her pad to explain the reason for the delay.

Steven returned twenty minutes later with all the drinks, but she was fully in the zone at that point and sensing that, he sat down somewhere else and did some paperwork for the next few hours. Then just before one o'clock, Garnet switched off her computer and stood up. "Time for lunch."

"Finally!" Amethyst pushed herself away from her own desk and bounced to her feet. "Breakfast feels forever ago! Anyone wanna come to that new Greek place down the block?"

Garnet nodded, but Pearl shook her head. "I have to run some errands, let me know if it's any good though."

"Steven?" Amethyst looked hopefully at him but he shook his head as well.

"Dad packed me a lunch, I thought I'd go to the park and eat there. What about you, Peridot?" he asked.

Peridot tore her gaze away from the computer and shook her head. "If it's all right with you, I'd like to keep working."

"No can do," Garnet said simply and pulled a key out of her pocket. "We're locking the office and we can't leave you in here. Too much confidential information."

"You're _all_ leaving for lunch?" She looked around in surprise. "And closing the office? Isn't that terribly inefficient?"

A short silence met her words as they all stared back at her, and then Garnet shrugged. "We only have three fully qualified members of staff, we decided it made more sense to close for an hour rather than stagger breaks and wind up short staffed for longer." She smiled at the young woman. "Take a break, have some lunch, come back in an hour. We all have to eat."

Peridot gave the computer a longing look; she'd planned to work through her lunch breaks to try and make up for how much longer the job was going to take, but arguing about it would be more trouble than it was worth, so she sighed and picked up her purse and followed the others out.

When she reached the top of the stairs once again, she paused and watched as Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl descended. Climbing all these stairs every day was going to kill her, she thought gloomily.

"Planning on spending your lunch break here?" Steven teased, coming to stand next to her.

For a moment, Peridot seriously considered that idea. She had a granola bar in her purse, after all. "It's a lot of steps," she admitted.

"Yeah." He leaned over and peered down the stairwell as well. "Getting those monitors down is going to be tricky. I guess we could use the elevator though."

Peridot snapped round to face him, her eyes wide in disbelief. "Excuse me, _elevator!?_ Do you mean to tell me I carried those computers up all these stairs and there was an elevator here the entire time!?"

Steven shifted uncomfortably. "Well... yes, but-"

"Where!?" she demanded furiously. "Show me!"

Steven hesitated, and then turned and led her along a number of corridors towards the back of the building until finally, he came to a halt in front of a dingy metal door. "Here. But it's not a very good elevator," he warned. "That's why I didn't mention it-"

Peridot's hand shot out and hit the call button. "I refuse to climb those stairs again," she said firmly, and folded her arms.

"OK, I get that, and maybe I should've mentioned it earlier, but really, it's a terrible elevator," Steven argued. "It's small, it's dark, it's smelly..."

There was a _ping_ and the doors opened and Peridot realized at once that he was right, but her pride wouldn't allow her to back down now, so she took a deep breath and stepped inside. Steven looked miserably around the interior, but followed her inside and hit the button for the first floor. The doors slid closed and the entire thing shuddered horribly before slowly descending with an evil, grinding noise, and Peridot immediately realized she'd made a terrible mistake.

She regretted her actions even further when they reached the point halfway between the fourth and third floors, and the elevator suddenly juddered to a halt. "What's happening?" she said nervously.

"Yeah..." Steven rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. "It does this sometimes. Sorry."

"And you didn't think to lead with that!?" She groaned loudly and slumped against the wall. The elevator responded by dropping several inches and she let out a small scream of fright. "This is it. I'm going to die in this horrible, smelly little box."

"We're not going to die," Steven said firmly. "I'll just press the alarm, and somebody will come and let us out."

He pressed the alarm button. Nothing happened. "Ah. Oooooookay, I'll just..." He yanked his phone out of his pocket and tapped at the screen, then his face fell. "No signal."

Peridot began to laugh hysterically. "Oh this just keeps getting better and better! Every piece of technology in this building is older than I am, and none of it works properly!" Her laughter suddenly turned to tears and she slid down the wall. "This was supposed to be an easy job, it wasn't supposed to take more than two _days_ , but it's probably going to take two _weeks_ at the least because everything is so slow and I can't do any work during my lunch break, and if I don't _die_ , I'm probably going to get _fired-_ "

"Hey, hey!" Steven said in alarm. "Nobody's dying and nobody's getting fired!" He knelt down in front of her and tipped his bagged lunch out into his lap. "Here, breath into this," he said, and held out the paper bag. "We're going to be fine," he said soothingly, and patted her on the arm as she raised the bag to her mouth with trembling hands. "I'll try the alarm again in a bit, but even if nobody answers, the others will realize something's wrong when we don't come back after lunch and they'll come looking for us. Or," he added, "somebody else might want to use the elevator and realize there's a problem."

Privately he thought it was unlikely; everybody who worked in the building knew the elevator was awful and rarely risked using it, and as it wasn't clearly marked, visitors often failed to notice it was there at all. Still, it seemed to do the trick, and Peridot's breathing began to even out again. "Sandwich?" he asked, hoping to distract her from their current predicament. "It's egg."

Peridot pulled a face and shook her head. "No thank you," she said, removing the bag from her face. "The smell in here does not make egg a particularly attractive prospect."

Steven took another look at his sandwich and placed it aside with a sigh. "Yeah, it does smell pretty gross in here. So, um..." He racked his brains for a topic of conversation. "You install computers for charity? What's that like?"

"To be honest... it's my first day," Peridot admitted.

"Well for what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job. I'm serious," he argued as she let out a derisive snort. "You've been working non-stop since you arrived, it's not your fault the computers are old."

"It _is_ my fault we're trapped in here though," she pointed out.

"Not really. OK, you kind of demanded we come in here," he conceded, "but I could've said no. Still, even if we _weren't_ stuck in here, you wouldn't have been able to do any work. So really, you're still on schedule, and your boss can't be mad at you."

He was completely and utterly wrong about that, but Peridot appreciated that he was trying. "Sorry I've spoiled your lunch," she said instead.

"It's all right. The view's not quite what I was expected, but the company's a lot better." He laughed at her astonished expression and picked up his sandwich again. For a moment, he considered trying the alarm again, but he had no faith it would actually work this time, and now she'd calmed down, he didn't want to draw attention to it again. "Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?" he suggested, beginning to eat.

"Why?" Peridot said warily.

"Mph. Well-" He paused to swallow. "That's how people get to know one another. I guess I could tell you some more stuff about me, but you heard most of it on the stairs already." He drummed his fingers thoughtfully on his chin. "Did I tell you about my dad's one man band?"

Peridot tried to remember. "I don't recall you bringing it up, no."

"My dad's a one man band," he said simply. "That's kinda the whole story, really."

Peridot couldn't help chuckling at that. "What sort of music does he play?"

"He's a rock star," Steven said proudly. "That's how he and my mom met, actually, he was playing a gig on the beach and she was the only person there and they fell in love. He gave it up when she died though, but he's getting back into it a bit now." He looked expectantly at her. "What about you, how did your parents meet?"

Perhaps it was because he'd mentioned his mother's death, but for once, Peridot found herself replying truthfully. "I don't know, I never knew my parents. They gave me up when I was born."

"Oh no!" Steven sat upright, horrified by his faux pas. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine," she said dismissively. "I don't blame them, by all accounts, I was a very small and sickly baby. I assume they took one look at me and decided they couldn't afford me."

"It's their loss," Steven said firmly. "You're smart, you're cute, and with the work you do, you're obviously a good person."

Peridot shifted uncomfortably. "Anyway, I currently live with my foster mother," she continued, deciding to just ignore everything he'd just said. "She's an amazing woman, she taught me everything I know." She sighed. "I wanted to prove myself to her, that's why I took this job." Then her shoulders slumped. "It's not exactly going as well as I'd hoped."

Steven tentatively reached out and patted her on the arm. "It's going to be fine," he tried to reassure her. "We'll get out of here, I promise. And then you'll be able to get back to work and before you know it, you'll be back on schedule. In the meantime..." Inspired, he pulled out his cellphone again. "Do you wanna hear one of my dad's songs?"

xxx

Just over an hour later, the Undertale soundtrack was playing as they talked.

"Just the pacifist run," Steven was saying. "And then when I completed it, I couldn't bring myself to do it again."

Peridot almost choked on a piece of apple as she laughed. "I did both routes," she admitted. "I just wanted to see if I could."

"And could you?"

She nodded smugly. "It took me a while to get past the Sans battle, but I did it-"

She broke off as a series of dim, metallic thuds sounded, and jumped to her feet. "Someone's out there!"

Steven jumped to his feet and banged on the door. "Hey! We're in here!" he yelled as loud as he could, and then pressed his ear against the metal.

"-coming to get you-"

He turned and quickly relayed the message to Peridot before turning back to the door. "OK! We'll just... wait here!"

It took another twenty minutes, but finally, the lights in the elevator flickered, then it shuddered violently and laboriously rose up to the fourth floor. The doors opened, and on the other side stood Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and a janitor. "Steven!" Pearl cried, and dragged him out into the hallway at once. "We were so worried!"

"I wasn't," Amethyst said mildly. "I figured you two had a hot dinner date that got out of control." Then she grinned. "And it looks like I was right."

"Steven, you _know_ the elevator is faulty," Garnet said in exasperation. "Why did you risk taking Peridot in there?"

Peridot took a deep breath and stepped forward. "It wasn't Steven's fault, it was all mine." And she quickly explained what had happened.

"Well," Pearl said afterwards, looking down her nose at the young woman. "I hope you've learned your lesson."

"Ugh. Yes." Peridot valiantly resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "In future, I will be taking the stairs. Speaking of which..." She began to inch her way back towards the stairwell. "I think it's about time we all got back to work."

"You're right. We've wasted too much time here, and I have to prepare for court tomorrow." Garnet abruptly turned away from the elevator and swept past Peridot, and as soon as they'd recovered, Pearl and Amethyst ran after her. Peridot hesitated, and then followed behind at a slight distance.

"Hey, Peridot!" Steven quickly caught up and fell into step beside her. "So um, I was wondering..." He began to blush. "Seeing as you didn't get much of a lunch break today, um, could I- couldIbuyyoudinner?" he asked in a rush.

Peridot blinked and tried to decipher his question, but once she had, she smiled shyly. "Yes. I'd like that."

xxx

"You're home late."

The voice of Peridot's foster mother stopped her in her tracks, and she steeled herself before she turned to face the woman. "I'm sorry, I sent you a message," she said nervously. "I wasn't able to have lunch, so I went out for dinner instead."

"Did you?" The woman picked up her cell phone and looked at the screen for a moment. "Ah, I see. Why didn't you call?"

"I-I didn't want to disturb you," Peridot stammered. "I know you had court today and-and I thought..."

"Oh yes, I see." Her foster mother had already begun to turn away in disinterest. "I do wish you'd called though, I had thought it might be pleasant for us to have dinner together, to celebrate your first day of work." She suddenly paused and turned back to Peridot. "How did it go?"

Peridot hesitated. "Slow" she finally admitted. "Their entire computer system is obsolete. It's going to take longer than planned to get the new system up and running."

A flash of annoyance crossed the older woman's face, but it was gone in an instance. "But you will be able to get it done?" she asked silkily. "Perhaps, say, by the end of the week?"

"Oh yes, definitely!" Peridot stood a little straighter. "The first computer has turned out be something of a challenge, but now I have the experience, work should progress much more quickly."

"And... you are being discreet about our company's involvement?" Her foster mother gave her a piercing look. "There has been some... shall we say, history, between our firms, but they do some admirable work, and I'm sure our donation would be of great assistance to them. It would be a shame if it were to be rejected because of things that happened in the past."

Peridot nodded quickly. "I have used the utmost discretion," she said fervently.

"Excellent," Yellow Diamond purred, and reached out to pet Peridot's hair. "I'm very proud of you."

xxx

And as it turned out, Peridot was indeed able to get the system up and running by the end of the week, and on the Friday afternoon, she called Jasper and asked if she'd be able to come and pick up the old equipment so that it could be disposed of. Jasper grudgingly agreed, but once again, refused to step inside the building, and so, after deciding not to risk the elevator again, Peridot and Steven spent the next hour carefully carrying everything down the stairs and into the lobby.

"Thank goodness that's everything." Peridot stopped for a rest on the second floor and blew her hair out of her eyes. "I am _not_ going to miss these stairs when I'm gone."

Steven grinned. "Carefully, your next job might be on the _tenth_ floor."

"Don't even joke about that!" she gasped, pretending to be horrified by the very suggestion.

"Sorry," he said cheerfully. Then he picked up the monitor again and started walking towards the next set of stairs. "Some um, just out of curiosity," he said as casually as possible, "is there anything you _are_ going to miss about this place?"

She blushed and turned away. "I suppose if I'm honest, I might miss our lunches together."

"Yeah." He smiled at her over the top of the heavy screen. "I'm going to miss those too."

They looked at each other for a long moment, and then Peridot cleared her throat and turned away to pick up her computer again. "We should get these onto the van."

They staggered the rest of the way down the stairs and outside, where Jasper took over and easily chucked the equipment into the vehicle. "Right. Ready when you are," she grunted, slamming the back doors closed.

"I just have to go and get the last of the paperwork signed and collect my things," Peridot said, already turning back towards the building.

Jasper waved her away impatiently. "Whatever. Just hurry up."

Steven was waiting for her a short distance away, and they made their way back in together. "Hey, so um, I was wondering," he began as they began the long climb back upstairs again. "Could... could I have your number? And then maybe- maybe we could still meet up for lunch sometimes?"

Peridot hesitated. She knew perfectly well that Yellow Diamond wouldn't approve, that she should just move on from this job and not look back... but she genuinely liked him. She _wanted_ to see him again. So she nodded and smiled. "Sure, that would be nice."

"Great!" He smiled with delight. "I'll pack a picnic and you can show me the elevator in your new building."

She laughed and punched him on the arm. "No elevators! But a picnic sounds fun."

She dragged out the last few minutes at Crystal Gem Law, knowing she would miss the cheerful, relaxed atmosphere when she returned to Diamond, Diamond and Diamond. Pearl offered her a slice of pie, and Amethyst made her a cup of coffee while Garnet reread the paperwork and signed it off. But she couldn't stay there forever, and so when the coffee was drunk and the pie was eaten and the paperwork was back in her bag, she said goodbye and turned towards the door again.

"Wait!" Steven lunged forward and fell into step beside her. "I'll walk with you."

This time, they made the journey downstairs in silence, and then once they reached the lobby, they stopped and turned to face each other. "Um... I guess, have a good weekend," Steven said.

Peridot smiled. "Thank you for making me feel welcome this week." She hesitated for a moment, and then impulsively leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Call me."

Steven briefly touched the spot on his cheek and then smiled. "I will. Bye, Peridot."

She floated happily out to the van and hopped up into the cab next to Jasper, who narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her. As she began driving and Peridot made no comment about her speed or the volume of the music, her suspicions deepened and she reached out and turned down the radio. "Hey. Do you something going on with that guy?"

"What!? No!" Peridot protested too quickly. "He's just- just-"

"The enemy," Jasper finished.

Peridot frowned. "They're not 'the enemy'," she argued. "Maybe they were once, but we just donated four computers to them."

"Right." Jasper snorted. "Out of the goodness of our hearts." She lapsed into silence and drove on. "You can't see him again, you know that, right?" she finally spoke up again. "Yellow Diamond won't let you."

"Yellow Diamond doesn't have to know," Peridot said tartly.

Jasper opened her mouth to argue some more, then caught sight of the steely glint in Peridot's eye and gave up. "All right, you do what you want. But don't say I didn't warn you."

xxx

Four days later, Pearl was frowning at her new computer when the door to the office opened and Amethyst walked in. "Good afternoon," Pearl said vaguely. "How did-" She looked up and finally caught sight of her colleague's pale face. "Amethyst?" she said in alarm. "Are you all right?"

Amethyst shook her head and sank into the nearest seat. "I got massacred," she said dismally. "Every argument I had was ripped to shreds in seconds, it's like they _knew_ what I was going to say."

Garnet looked up sharply. "What did you say?"

"I said... it's like they knew what I was going to say?" Amethyst looked at her curiously. "Why? What's up?"

"The same thing happened to me yesterday," Garnet said. "I almost thought they were reading my notes somehow, but of course, that's impossible."

"Actually..." Pearl began hesitantly. "I was having some problems with the new computers and when I took a closer look, a process called cluster.exe was using a lot of resources and there seemed to be a lot of outgoing traffic." Her eyes widened. "Do you think we could've been hacked?"

"Perhaps..." Garnet said slowly. A horrible suspicion was forming in her mind, and she suddenly turned and began searching through the paperwork on her desk until she found what she was looking for. "3D Global," she read aloud. "Have you ever heard of them before?"

Pearl and Amethyst exchanged glances. "I can't say that I have," Pearl admitted.

"Research them," Garnet ordered. "NOT on there," she quickly added as Pearl reached for her keyboard. "Use your phone or something. Amethyst, can you do a background check on Peridot?"

"Oh you're kidding!" Amethyst exclaimed. Garnet just stared at her and she slumped. "You're not kidding. Jeez." She was suddenly very glad their office junior was out on another coffee run.

"I could be wrong," Garnet quickly backpeddled. "Maybe it's just a coincidence-"

"3D Global are a shell company owned by Diamond, Diamond and Diamond Solicitors," Pearl stated in a monotone. "And one of their recent hires is a Peridot Shelby."

"That conniving little _bitch!_ " Amethyst burst out furiously. "Oh, if I see her again, I'm gonna-" She broke off abruptly as the door opened and Steven stepped inside.

"OK, I got a caramel frappe, tea, black coffee and a toffee nut latte for me..." He trailed off, finally noticing the weird atmosphere. "What's going on?"

"Your new girlfriend screwed us over," Amethyst spat bitterly before anyone could stop her.

"What?" he asked, completely bewildered. "What are you talking about?"

Pearl glared at Amethyst and stepped forward. "It appears these new computers aren't quite the charitable donation we thought they were," she explained delicately. "The company that donated them are fake, there's spyware on them, and it would appear that all our client information has now been compromised." She reached out and took the cup holder from him as his hands began to tremble. "Peridot doesn't work for 3D Global. She works for Diamond, Diamond and Diamond. She's a corporate spy."

Steven's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I don't believe it, she's not- she's not like that, she's a good person, she wouldn't-"

"Hah!" Amethyst scowled. "She played us, and she played you."

"Amethyst, shut up and drink your frappe," Garnet ordered. Then she turned to Steven. "I'm sorry, but it's true. Peridot lied to us."

"No, I don't believe it. She wouldn't- she just wouldn't," he said stubbornly, fighting down the sick, panicky feeling in his gut,

Garnet sighed and gave him a hug. "Look... why don't you take the rest of the day off?" she suggested. "It's not like we can do any more work today anyway. We'll deal with the computers."

Steven hesitated and then nodded slowly. "OK. I'll do that." He slowly gathered up his belongings and left the office, and then halfway down the stairs, he stopped and composed a short text message.

_Hey Peri, can I buy you dinner tonight?_

xxx

"Hi Steven!" Peridot's eyes lit up when she saw him waiting for her outside the restaurant. "Shall we go in?"

"Not yet." He shook his head. "It's a nice evening, I thought we could go for a walk first."

"OK," she said agreeably, and placed her hand in his.

As they walked along, Steven glanced sideways at her, looking for some sign of her deceit, but she looked the same as always, small and sweet. Certainly not like a corporate spy who'd betrayed them all. "So, how's work?" he asked. "Who's the next lucky business to receive your services?"

"We've approached a number of companies," she said evasively. "But there's nothing certain lined up just yet."

"How exactly does it work?" he pressed. "Do you just email places and say 'hey, we have some free computers for you'?"

"I don't know the exact process," she hedged. "I just install the computers. So, what about you, how's work-"

"My work is boring, I'd much rather hear about yours. It must be so rewarding, working for a company like 3D Global." He stopped and looked at her with narrowed eyes. "They must be pretty rich, to be able to give away brand new computers. It's weird how I've never heard of them."

Peridot stopped as well and let go of his hand as she regarded him warily. "They like to keep a low profile-" she began.

"What does the '3D' mean?" he interrupted. "It doesn't mean like, three dimensions, does it?"

Peridot stared up at him for a moment, and then she looked away. There didn't seem to be any point denying it any longer. "No."

"It means three Diamonds, doesn't it?" He waited for her to answer, and when she didn't, he clenched his fists is sudden fury. "Doesn't it!?"

"See, this is exactly why we didn't tell you!" she retorted, spinning back round to glare at him. "Your company does good work, and Yellow Diamond wanted to help, but she knew you'd never accept a donation from them!"

"Help!?" He shook his head and laughed in disbelief. "Help who!? Those computers are full of spyware, she's been stealing our data to beat us!"

Peridot shook her head, flatly refusing to believe it. "Yellow Diamond would never do such a thing. She's an honest, amazing person and a true humanitarian-"

"She's a liar and a fraud," Steven said bitterly. "And so are you." And before she could say another word, he turn and walked away.

xxx

A little while later, Peridot stood outside the house she shared with Yellow Diamond. She paused and looked up at the clean and elegant building, and then sighed, unlocked the door and stepped inside. "I'm home."

She heard the click of heels on tile, and then Yellow Diamond stepped into the hallway. "That was fast." She narrowed her eyes at her foster daughter. "I assume your date with... Steven Universe didn't go well?"

Peridot froze and stared up at her with wide eyes. "How did-"

"It doesn't matter," Yellow Diamond said dismissively. "You're not to see him again."

 _Jasper_ , Peridot concluded miserably. "I'm not going to," she muttered and turned away before the other woman could see the tears in her eyes. "He found out 3D Global is Diamond, Diamond and Diamond and now he doesn't want to see me again."

Yellow Diamond, who'd turned to walk away, paused and spun back around. "He found out?" she asked sharply. "How? Do the rest of them know?"

Peridot shrugged dismally. "I don't know. Maybe?" She tried to think. "He said... he said the new computers had spyware. He wouldn't have come to that conclusion by himself, so I assume one of the others must have said that to him."

"I see." Yellow Diamond frowned. "How unfortunate." She turned away again. "Never mind. We have most of the information we need."

Peridot stared after her, suddenly suspicious. She'd never told Jasper Steven's name... but she _had_ emailed him that morning. " _Is_ there spyware on the computers?"

Yellow Diamond looked back around in surprise. "Of course. You don't really think we gave them four brand new computers to be philanthropic, do you?" She smiled coldly down at her ward. "Their company has been a thorn in our side for years. I shall look forward to seeing how well they do business once the cluster program destroys all of their data."

A chill ran down Peridot's spine. "You used me."

"Nonsense." Yellow Diamond turned around once again and began to walk away. "You've done an excellent job, and for that, I shall ignore your temporary lapse in judgment. I assume you haven't eaten?" she called over her shoulder. "Come along. I'll ask Pearl to make us something, and we can discuss your next job."

Peridot clenched her fists. "No."

Yellow Diamond halted and slowly turned around to face her. "Excuse me?" she asked in a dangerously quiet voice. "You are out of line, Peridot. I suggest you go upstairs until you calm down, and then we can talk about this-"

"I said no! I won't do it! I quit! I'm not doing any more of your dirty work!" Peridot yelled at her. "They're good people and you _used_ me to sabotage them!"

"Good people! Hah! How naive." Yellow Diamond shook her head. "You have no idea what they've done."

"I know they wouldn't pull an underhanded trick like this," Peridot countered at once. "I know they help people because it's the right thing to do, not because it's an opportunity to undermine their rivals, and I know that unlike _you_ , they respect their office junior enough to not trick them into committing corporate espionage!"

"How dare you!?" Yellow Diamond reared back in outrage. "You ungrateful little- and after all I've done for you! You will either go to your room, or you will leave this house right now!"

Peridot stared at the other woman for a long moment, and then, without another word, she turned around and walked out.

xxx

"I've spoken to some people who may be able to get us some equipment, but it's going to take some time- oh." Pearl stopped talking and stared at the figure slumped outside their office.

Amethyst peered around her and her eyes widened. "Is that-"

"Peridot," Garnet finished.

She climbed the last few steps and leaned down to shake the girl's shoulder until she woke up with a jolt. "Wha-" She blinked and looked around. "Um. Hello."

"What are you doing here, you traitor?" Amethyst asked in an unfriendly tone.

Peridot rubbed her eyes and climbed unsteadily to her feet. "I came to help. The cluster program isn't just spyware, it's a virus."

"Huh! Why should we-" Pearl began frostily.

"What do you mean, it's a virus?" Garnet interrupted. "And have you been here all night?"

"Um, yes," Peridot admitted. "I confronted Yellow Diamond." At this, her eyes skipped over to Steven, who was standing silently at the back of the group, watching her warily, and she flushed and looked away. "She admitted everything, and said the cluster program would destroy all of your data. Then I yelled at her and she kicked me out."

"Kicked you out?" Pearl repeated.

"Yes." Peridot paused. "She's... she's not just my boss. She's my foster mother."

A stunned silence met these words. "I think you'd better come in," Garnet finally said, and unlocked the door.

Peridot followed her inside and sank gratefully into one of the comfy office chairs. "Don't switch that on," she warned as Pearl reached for the computer on her desk. "You could activate the virus."

"Do you think you can stop it?" Garnet asked, coming to sit next to her.

"Of course!" Peridot sat up confidently. Then she sagged slightly. "It will be a little difficult without any of my equipment though," she admitted. "But I'll do my best."

"Very well." Garnet nodded slowly. "Thank you for coming to us with this. In the meantime, I'll call the courts and see what can be done about our upcoming cases." She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully and looked Peridot up and down. "And you."

"I'm fine," Peridot said quickly. "I can call my social worker later, I just avoided doing so sooner because I wanted to make sure I spoke to you first."

"I see." Garnet stood up. "Very well then. In that case, I shall get to work. Would you like to us the bathroom and freshen up?"

"Thank you," Peridot said with relief, and shot off.

She emerged a few minutes later, still feeling a little scruffy but somewhat cleaner, to find Steven waiting for her with a cup of coffee. "Here," he said quietly. "You look like you need it."

"Oh. Thanks." She took a grateful sip from the cup and almost burned her lips off. "So, um... I'm sorry," she said once her mouth had recovered.

"I'm sorry too. I was wrong about you." He sighed and looked sadly at her. "Why didn't you call me last night when you found out? I would've helped you, you didn't need to sleep outside the office all night."

Peridot shrugged and took another sip of her drink. "I thought I should speak to you all in person first. And... I didn't want to face you after our argument and admit I was wrong." She blushed and looked away. "You were right about Yellow Diamond. I was such a fool. I hope you can forgive me."

"I already have." He glanced around the office and then leaned in a little closer to her. "So um... I'm guessing you didn't have a chance to have breakfast?"

"Not really," Peridot admitted.

"Would you like to go and get some?" He smiled shyly at her. "With me? My treat?"

She smiled back. "I'd like that very much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I was so close to having them all done on time, but this one just kicked my butt. I even stayed awake until 3am trying to get it done, but I couldn't quite manage it. But better late than never, and I hope you all enjoyed these stories. Most of them will probably stay as one shots, but I might be tempted to expand upon a couple of them in the future; I'd particularly like to add some more onto this AU in the future, there's a couple of dangling plotlines that could be picked up, such as what exactly is the history between the two businesses, why Jasper hates the Crystal Gems, and where exactly is Peridot going to live now. I'd also like to add in some of the characters I didn't have time to include, like Lapis and Connie. I did have roles for them, but they were cut for time. But for now, I'm going to eat my Easter eggs and sit in front of the TV and relax. Bye for now!


End file.
